My Wobbly Bits

11 Jul

It’s hard dragging yourself out of bed in the morning when you have a hot someone trying to convince you to stay.  Still, I managed.  Sure, I was 20 minutes late to work, but I’m here now-and that’s what counts.  The slumber parties are working out well.  The crappy part is that I have to wake up first, and I roll out the door 1/2 an hour before he does.

This morning on my way to work, he called me all panicked.  He needed a belt and wanted to know if I happened to have one.  I knew exactly where my belt was, but I pretended not to.  Instead, I sent him down to the coat closet to pick up some jacked up belt that someone had left at my house. 

Why?  It’s simple: the thought of my belt being too big for him makes me want to bury my head in my hands and cry. 

You’ll be shocked to hear that as a girl, I have a distorted body image.  Yes, it’s true, I am not happy with my own body.  SHOCKER!!  Granted, I don’t make much of an effort (anymore) to eat right or squeeze myself into some gym clothes and work it on the elliptical like I did before.  Instead, I just stare in the mirror at my naked body and wonder why I have so many wobbly bits.  Dating someone that takes good care of himself only magnifies the things I hate about my body.

He’s a lean guy (with only 10% body fat), there’s not a single person in this world that would call me thin.  Fluctuating around a size 12 does not make anyone skinny.  I wouldn’t call myself fat either, but I am well aware of the fact that he only weighs about 7 more pounds than I do.  That, my friends, is reason enough to make me want to drink an entire bottle of bleach.

When he tells me that I’m “hot”, “beautiful”, or that I have a “slammin’ body,” I have to control myself so that I don’t immediately point my finger in his face and yell, “LIAR!”  I don’t see what he does.  I can’t really imagine what on earth he does see, aside from a jiggly girl that’s smitten as sin.  Apparently, whatever it is he sees, makes him happy.  Guess I’ll just have to find a way to live with it.

Here’s to a delicious bottle of bleach!



23 Responses to “My Wobbly Bits”

  1. Lady Jaye July 11, 2008 at 10:09 am #

    You are beautiful regardless of your size. I flucuate between a size 12 and 14 most of the time. And as Mark Darcy says: “Well now that’s a bit pointless isn’t it. As I happen to have a very high regard for your wobbly bits. In all circumstances.” I’m sure 3D feels the same way.

    I always remember that light when I’m feeling really gelatinous. -CS

  2. Philly July 11, 2008 at 10:28 am #

    Nothing wrong with a size 12 girl !! That’s what size I am and for my age I’m damn proud !!!


    I’ve seen myself in a smaller size and I always liked it. The only thing is that I refuse to do what I have to do to get back to that smaller size. F it. -CS

  3. Lori July 11, 2008 at 10:51 am #

    My weight is perfect for my height….+about 14 inches!!

    Good one! -CS

  4. cinnkitty July 11, 2008 at 11:54 am #

    I think it’s WONDERFUL that 3D tells you that you are hot, beautiful, smokin’ etc… he’s obviously got great taste in women and you should remember that he believes it when he says it. Hee..hee..

    20 minutes late? That’s it?? Girl, you gotta work on your stamina. 😉

    You know, we were trying to rush things along since it was my first week back at work. -CS

  5. Hookdntx July 11, 2008 at 12:05 pm #

    i am in the same situation with my new beau… he says that he likes that he can get rough and not worry about “breakage” like he would with a twig (i took it to mean he like the extra cushion for the pushin)

    Oh those boys, they always know just what to say-to make us want to cringe. -CS

  6. ASPittsburgh July 11, 2008 at 12:05 pm #

    I relate so much to this… last night I asked my boyfriend how he could be so enamored with my butt.. when it is clearly the largest part of my entire body. I always wish I could climb into his brain and just once see how I look through his eyes.

    How awesome would that be? We’d have a much better understanding if we could do that. -CS

  7. sandiablo July 11, 2008 at 12:17 pm #

    Does 3D have a brother who lives in the Seattle area who also like Latina girls with some junk in the trunk?

    I’ve been reading your blog for a couple of weeks now and have enjoyed every minute of it! Glad to hear things are going well for you.

    If by “brother who lives in the Seattle area who also likes Latina girls with some junk in the trunk” you actually mean “3 sisters that are taken and do not live anywhere near Seattle,” then, yes, he does. -CS

  8. Desiree July 11, 2008 at 12:18 pm #

    I hear ya. I’m significantly bigger in the waist than my honey, and he’s much more fit that I am. Almost pathetic, considering I’m in my late twenties and he’s in his early forties. 😦 You’d think it’d be the other way around. Fortunately, the way he takes care of himself has motivated me to do better. I have a long way to go, but every little bit helps.

    To me, it really doesn’t have anything to do with the size of your belt, but with being healthy instead. Besides, if 3D professes his love for your bits, wobbly or not, trust him. Easier said than done, I know.

    That’s good that you’ve been motivated. That’s the really hard part, the actual getting started.

    I agree with the being healthy part. What’s challenging is ignoring when chicken tenders and fries call my name. -CS

  9. Amadeo July 11, 2008 at 1:53 pm #

    Woobly Bits are nice.

    (we enjoy making them wobble)

    It’s when they produce waves that there is a problem.

    Wobbles, yes. Waves, I do not have-thank the Lord for that. -CS

  10. Stella July 11, 2008 at 3:06 pm #

    I’m about the same size and have the same issues. It’s really hard to believe him, isn’t it? And that sucks, because you want to believe him. You know he’s being earnest. He’s just saying things that you can’t possibly imagine are true. But if he’s sticking around, he thinks that they’re true and that’s all that matters. Let’s keep telling ourselves this 🙂

    It is hard to believe him. Mainly because I can’t see what he does. -CS

  11. xxNicky July 11, 2008 at 3:45 pm #

    I’m a “trunk” girl myself, some might say “pear shaped”, smaller in some areas bigger in others. The first guy I really gave my heart to, who constantly complemented me, made me realize that curves aren’t just something to like, but something to own. Let your man praise you and know your body is not just beautiful, but womanly.

    I have child bearing hips. That’s totally womanly. -CS

  12. shorty July 11, 2008 at 3:54 pm #

    My favorite saying… “I’m not overweight, I’m under tall”. I hate my wobbly bits too…

    I’m just carrying the extra weight because it keeps me warm in the winter time. It gets pretty cold up here. -CS

  13. Mike July 11, 2008 at 4:31 pm #

    Been there and done that with many women. Just remember you women are so much harder on yourself than us guys ever will.

    We can’t help ourselves! We grow up playing with Barbie dolls and think we’re supposed to look like them! -CS

  14. Bob Dobalina July 11, 2008 at 4:34 pm #

    Shorty, I love that saying, you are my internets hero of the day.

    I’m in the guy position, appropriately enough. I’m straight up thin and my girl is not and has commented on the disparity a few times. And I’ve even said to her specifically “if only you could see yourself the way I see you, you’d understand”. It kills me when she thinks I’m being ‘nice’ or ‘polite’ when I tell her how freaking hot she looks. She’s curvy and that’s a GOOD THING. Trust me, we guys aren’t that clever, if we didn’t think you were hot we would A) not be with you or B) just not say anything.

    And Hookd: I know EXACTLY what your guy is talking about and he’s absolutely right. Before I was my current ‘thin’, in my early 20’s I was ‘skeletal’: 5’11” and 120 lbs, no shit. I dated a skinny girl and the first time we had sex our hip bones bashed.. HARD. It was the most painful sex of my life. I’m now 160 so it’s not as prominent but still, 2 bony people = not so fun.

    As long as you aren’t unhealthily obese, and can handle a walk without panting, then try not to trip on it. And from what I hear Catherinette, you DO have a slammin’ body, so shush-uppa-u-face.

    It’s not that I think he’s being nice/polite. I just don’t see what he does. We’re just raised to believe that we’re supposed to look a certain way, and if we don’t, then it means that we’re not right. So when someone tells us that we look good, we just don’t understand it.

    Aw, slammin. I’m blushing!! -CS

  15. SinisterDan July 11, 2008 at 4:57 pm #

    I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one who rushes to work in order to blog.

    And we wonder why the economy sucks…

    The economy sucks because of GW, not because we’re blogging instead of working. -CS

  16. pistols at dawn July 11, 2008 at 5:35 pm #

    Huge tits always help distract us.

    Also, based entirely on our one meeting (and hours of bathroom webcam footage you don’t know about), you’re fine. Leave the body image problems to the actually unattractive women – you’re minimizing their plight.

    I totally know about the webcam in the bathroom. That’s why I always do the humpty dance when I get out of the shower. -CS

  17. Missy July 11, 2008 at 6:04 pm #

    My bf does the same. He thinks I am beautiful no matter what and that is one of the things I appreciate the most.

    It is nice to be told that. Always nice to hear. -CS

  18. One Date Wonder July 11, 2008 at 6:46 pm #

    I’m sorry, did you just say you’re having sleepovers??? Where oh where is the Catherinette I used to know?

    I know, right!! -CS

  19. Gunn Lino July 12, 2008 at 11:29 pm #

    Ah, Beauty, the eye of the beholder determines just what is beauty .
    We all have different ideas what appeals to each of us, not just in the area of a partner , cars for example, not all of us are all the down with orange Ford Mustangs.

    Oh god, the orange(ish) Mustangs. I still wake up sweating from the horrible nightmares of that incident. -CS

  20. Gunn Lino July 12, 2008 at 11:31 pm #

    Oops, yellow Mustangs.

    Nightmare. -CS

  21. Singletude July 14, 2008 at 1:15 am #

    Not all men equate beautiful with thin and waifish. I’ve known plenty of men who preferred a more curvaceous form.

    Believe him when he says it. No one is tying his hands and forcing him to say it. If he didn’t find you attractive, he wouldn’t be with you in the first place.

    And, btw, newcomer to this blog and saying hi!

    I believe him, I just don’t necessarily agree with him. -CS

  22. Newmie July 14, 2008 at 9:32 am #

    I know, I know … it is FAR easier to believe the bad stuff than it is to believe someone who doesn’t scrutinize the flaws you THINK you have.

    Take it from me…YOU’RE AWESOME!

    I’m totally awesome. I would just be more awesome if my waist was a tiny bit smaller, and my muffin top wasn’t quite so large. -CS

  23. the princess July 14, 2008 at 8:44 pm #

    they like it…it’s more to grab onto girl! anyhow, you are beautiful and he sees that. go with it. i understand the inner thoughts on the subject though. very well.

    You know what’s kind of funny? We uploaded the pictures from the trip last night and I thought to myself, “Wow, I’m not as big as I thought I was.” That’s a bonus. -CS

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