Archive | 9:48 am

My Wobbly Bits

11 Jul

It’s hard dragging yourself out of bed in the morning when you have a hot someone trying to convince you to stay.  Still, I managed.  Sure, I was 20 minutes late to work, but I’m here now-and that’s what counts.  The slumber parties are working out well.  The crappy part is that I have to wake up first, and I roll out the door 1/2 an hour before he does.

This morning on my way to work, he called me all panicked.  He needed a belt and wanted to know if I happened to have one.  I knew exactly where my belt was, but I pretended not to.  Instead, I sent him down to the coat closet to pick up some jacked up belt that someone had left at my house. 

Why?  It’s simple: the thought of my belt being too big for him makes me want to bury my head in my hands and cry. 

You’ll be shocked to hear that as a girl, I have a distorted body image.  Yes, it’s true, I am not happy with my own body.  SHOCKER!!  Granted, I don’t make much of an effort (anymore) to eat right or squeeze myself into some gym clothes and work it on the elliptical like I did before.  Instead, I just stare in the mirror at my naked body and wonder why I have so many wobbly bits.  Dating someone that takes good care of himself only magnifies the things I hate about my body.

He’s a lean guy (with only 10% body fat), there’s not a single person in this world that would call me thin.  Fluctuating around a size 12 does not make anyone skinny.  I wouldn’t call myself fat either, but I am well aware of the fact that he only weighs about 7 more pounds than I do.  That, my friends, is reason enough to make me want to drink an entire bottle of bleach.

When he tells me that I’m “hot”, “beautiful”, or that I have a “slammin’ body,” I have to control myself so that I don’t immediately point my finger in his face and yell, “LIAR!”  I don’t see what he does.  I can’t really imagine what on earth he does see, aside from a jiggly girl that’s smitten as sin.  Apparently, whatever it is he sees, makes him happy.  Guess I’ll just have to find a way to live with it.

Here’s to a delicious bottle of bleach!