Mini Meltdown

2 Jul

My eyes!!  My eyes!!  I’ve done something horribly stupid and now I cannot stop my eyes from bleeding, nor can I get the image out of my head.  Why, dear Lord?  Why did I make such an incredibly stupid decision?  Good God, maybe I’m still really sick.  Perhaps the terrible infection that has caused me to miss 6 weeks of work is rotting my brain and impairing my judgement.

My eyes!  The images will stay with me forever.  I won’t be able to sleep tonight, and if by some miracle I manage to fall asleep-I’ll have terrible nightmares.  In these scary dreams it will be me instead of that girl.  Oh God, I may never sleep again.  Ugh, my stomach is seriously freaking churning. 

Gross.  Gross.  Gross.

No doubt some of you have heard that Vern Troyer (AKA Mini Me from the “Austin Powers” franchise) made a dirty movie with his now ex-girlfriend.  [Excuse me while I throw up in my mouth for a second.]  Well, TMZ happens to have a little clip of said film.  Gross.  Vomiting in my mouth.  Granted, what they show is pretty tame, but it’s still enough to make me want to vomit and die-though not necessarily in that order.  Why did I have to go and watch it?  WHY??

Ugh.  I might have to throw myself down the stairs to end my misery. 

Disgusting.  Freaking gross and nasty and vomit-worthy. 

Here’s the thing.  I know that there are some of you out there that also enjoy making some pretty bad decisions.  Consider yourselves lucky, kids.  Here’s the link to the TMZ clip.  I warn you: make sure you haven’t eaten anything before you watch the clip.

Must go and vomit now.

13 Responses to “Mini Meltdown”

  1. constant drama July 2, 2008 at 4:07 pm #

    Oh hey, I’m net here at your blog. Fabulously good blog title by the way. Catchy as hell.

    As for the clip, yeah….I’ve watched. After that I felt that I need to stab myself in the eyes with a blunt pencil. It is soooo wrong. I have never seen no midget porn….but …uuhhhh how the hell do they do it?


    You know what? I was wondering the same freaking thing. I’m dying to know how big his piece is, because I can’t imagine that he’s packing very much. Further more, I would imagine that their sexual relationship wasn’t really fulfilling for her. Who the hell knows. -CS

  2. Amadeo July 2, 2008 at 4:35 pm #

    You’re dirty…and a bad influence on kids…erm…people in offices who should be doing work rather. Now I must forward that link under a title like “This is so cute” or something involving kittens…it will be better than rick-rolling.

    People will totally love you for fooling them into watching such disturbing filth. That’s how I’ve made all my friends. -CS

  3. cinnkitty July 2, 2008 at 4:37 pm #

    You know CS.. sometimes sharing is NOT the right thing to do!!! ugh!

    I share everything. Even my cold sores. -CS

  4. teri July 2, 2008 at 4:43 pm #

    why did you make me do that? you’ll be hearing from my lawyer.

    I didn’t make you do it. You chose to go and look after I clearly warned you. -CS

  5. Philly July 2, 2008 at 5:54 pm #

    thanks alot!

    That’s what friends are for! -CS

  6. Jenna July 2, 2008 at 6:13 pm #

    I’ll pass, thanks. I’m perfectly happy to go through life without ever having to see that. The very thought makes me a little ill.

    You have no idea what you’ve missed. Really. -CS

  7. sarah July 2, 2008 at 10:30 pm #

    too funny.


    That’s exactly how much he would have to pay me to sleep with him. -CS

  8. gaining some lb's July 2, 2008 at 10:37 pm #

    Thanks for sharing. Now I need to vomit. I didnt think anything would be worse than Al Gore.


    Glad to hear I was able to make you sick to your stomach. That takes a special kind of talent. -CS

  9. Del-v July 2, 2008 at 11:02 pm #

    Mini-Me indeed!

    Can you imagine?? -CS

  10. Diane Mandy July 3, 2008 at 8:35 am #

    Now you’ve got me curious…

    You know you want to look… -CS

  11. Stephanie July 3, 2008 at 8:39 am #

    I watched it yesterday too. I felt a small shudder throughout my body. I’m. just. ill.

    I totally feel your pain, sister. -CS

  12. Foxy Luv July 3, 2008 at 10:29 am #

    Here’s what I think is an especially nice touch – the ad for nice, wholesome, all-American s’mores right before the clip. Because you are there like feeling all warm and fuzzy thinking, “Aww, s’mores!”, then blamo – you are throwing up in your mouth.

    It really feels like the end of days with a juxtaposition like that. Kudos to you TMZ. Kudos to you. You really brought your A game.

    You know that TMZ has always been about high quality and klass news. This should totally not surprise you. -CS

  13. Jinksy July 3, 2008 at 8:41 pm #

    Apparently, this young lady was interested in having a film career, and was told to start out by “doing a short subject”.

    I guess she misunderstood.

    BWAHAHA!! That’s hilarious! -CS

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