Archive | 3:33 pm

Mini Meltdown

2 Jul

My eyes!!  My eyes!!  I’ve done something horribly stupid and now I cannot stop my eyes from bleeding, nor can I get the image out of my head.  Why, dear Lord?  Why did I make such an incredibly stupid decision?  Good God, maybe I’m still really sick.  Perhaps the terrible infection that has caused me to miss 6 weeks of work is rotting my brain and impairing my judgement.

My eyes!  The images will stay with me forever.  I won’t be able to sleep tonight, and if by some miracle I manage to fall asleep-I’ll have terrible nightmares.  In these scary dreams it will be me instead of that girl.  Oh God, I may never sleep again.  Ugh, my stomach is seriously freaking churning. 

Gross.  Gross.  Gross.

No doubt some of you have heard that Vern Troyer (AKA Mini Me from the “Austin Powers” franchise) made a dirty movie with his now ex-girlfriend.  [Excuse me while I throw up in my mouth for a second.]  Well, TMZ happens to have a little clip of said film.  Gross.  Vomiting in my mouth.  Granted, what they show is pretty tame, but it’s still enough to make me want to vomit and die-though not necessarily in that order.  Why did I have to go and watch it?  WHY??

Ugh.  I might have to throw myself down the stairs to end my misery. 

Disgusting.  Freaking gross and nasty and vomit-worthy. 

Here’s the thing.  I know that there are some of you out there that also enjoy making some pretty bad decisions.  Consider yourselves lucky, kids.  Here’s the link to the TMZ clip.  I warn you: make sure you haven’t eaten anything before you watch the clip.

Must go and vomit now.