I’m So High Klass

9 Jun

So let me ask you a question.  When the doctor told me that I was on “bed rest”,  do you think that he meant that I couldn’t mow the lawn?  Because I totally just mowed 1/2 the back lawn.  In my nightgown, and I wasn’t wearing a bra.  I just couldn’t turn my back on my heritage for one more minute.

Go ahead and admit that I’m one of the klassiest people that you’ve ever met.  Really, just think about it.  How many other people do you know that mow their lawn in a nightgown?

This is high freaking klass.

I feel like I should totally be drinking a Colt 45 and watching some Jerry Springer right now.  Too bad that I can’t have any alcohol for the next 2 weeks-thanks, antibiotics.  What else could I drink?  Oh, maybe some red Kool-aid.  That sounds good.  Red Kool-aid and then Jerry Springer.  And then maybe I’ll watch something with Bill Engvall in it.  He’s most definitely the epitome of high klass.

I’m so proud of myself right now that I feel like I should get a tattoo of Speedy Gonzalez or the Tasmanian Devil on my right ankle.  Because nothing says klass like a chick working on an office wearing nude colored stockings over a tattoo of a cartoon character.  I want to be that girl.

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23 Responses to “I’m So High Klass”

  1. Amadeo June 9, 2008 at 1:55 pm #

    I bet your neighbors with the yellow car think your nightgown is “high-fallutin”

    Probably. But that’s because it’s clean and doesn’t have any mustard stains on it. -CS

  2. damon June 9, 2008 at 1:59 pm #

    Beatiful visual. But Springer would be even more impressed if you mowed around a broken down Camaro or two!

    No broken down cars, but I do still have a busted up shed in the backyard. The thing buckled under the last windstorm (in February), and now there are pieces of green aluminum everywhere. How about that?? -CS

  3. Mike June 9, 2008 at 2:30 pm #

    You at least had your hair up in curlers and were wearing fuzzy slippers right?

    Of course. It wouldn’t be right to wear a nightgown without those things. -CS

  4. WendyB June 9, 2008 at 2:43 pm #

    Mmmmm. Colt 45.

    So refreshing. -CS

  5. sburns74 June 9, 2008 at 3:39 pm #

    My vote’s for Marvin the Martian.

    Over Speedy?? Really? -CS

  6. Jenna June 9, 2008 at 3:44 pm #

    Do people still wear stockings? Last time I wore stockings was when I was a shopgirl at JCPenneys a decade ago. Well…ok, that’s not entirely true…but let’s just say that was the last time I wore them out of the house 😉

    Indeed they do. If they didn’t, then Nordstrom wouldn’t have a whole department dedicated to just stockings. -CS

  7. Cosmo June 9, 2008 at 4:16 pm #

    Don’t forget the Tramp Stamp w/an orange thong.. KLASSY!!!

    I NEED that! -CS

  8. Bob Dobalina June 9, 2008 at 4:29 pm #

    That’s totally hawt.

    Add some blaring Mariachi or Reggaetón and you will have recreated my childhood.

    Crap, I should have thought to add in a soundtrack. -CS

  9. Wontletlifedefineme / Marjolein June 9, 2008 at 5:07 pm #

    Not to be negative, but you really need to allow your body to rest so it has enough energy to beat the infection together with the antibiotics.

    What kind of nightgown were you wearing? At least you gave your neighbours a good time! 😉

    I know, I know. I just couldn’t take staring at it anymore. Plus I only did a little bit. The rest of it is reserved for 3D-who was outraged that I mowed any of it when he had offered to take care of the whole thing for me.

    The nightgown was actually nice. It’s Lily Pulitzer. -CS

  10. Gunn Lino June 9, 2008 at 6:00 pm #

    How about a unicorn on the left breast, just so the horn protrudes into the cleav, so the really cool guy with the mullet and the pubic looking gotee can ask if you’re horny.
    Now you got some Klass ( note the caps) goin’ on.

    How could a man resist a breast with a unicorn on it? They’d all be putty in my hands. -CS

  11. Bob Dobalina June 9, 2008 at 6:01 pm #

    Guys who do yard work for you are keepers. Seriously.

    This is not at all a self-serving comment, why are people looking at me like that?

    I’ve never had one that does yard work before. This is so exciting to me! -CS

  12. Del-v June 9, 2008 at 6:04 pm #

    This is my word of advice to everyone reading this… Do not get a tattoo that a 10 year old would think is cool.

    Do you think I should go for Harry Potter instead? -CS

  13. jess June 9, 2008 at 6:08 pm #

    OMG I thought I was a gardening nut, I have never mowed in a nightgown before. I’ve worn slippers and no bra. I am sure your neighbours make a bag of popcorn and sit back and enjoy your gardening expertise.

    Honey, I hate yardwork so much that it physically hurts me to do it. Still, the yard looked so awful yesterday that I had to do something about it. -CS

  14. sburns74 June 9, 2008 at 6:37 pm #

    I’ve always been partial to Marvin. Mostly because nobody ever understood what he said and he always just wanted to blow people up. I relate to that. But I guess as one of Mexican descent, Speedy would make sense, huh? I’m a bit slow, never thought of that.

    What if I got Marvin with a sombrero? -CS

  15. pistols at dawn June 9, 2008 at 8:24 pm #

    Mowed in a nightgown sans bra? Wow. Your neighbors better park that piece of junk car in front of your place to hide your shame.

    This is a klassy neighborhood. I’m surprised no one has an above ground pool in their backyard. That would just be the cherry on the sundae. -CS

  16. abroad June 10, 2008 at 9:49 am #

    Maybe you are just high. Seriously kid, what kind of drugs are you on? Get back in bed.

    The major bummer is that they didn’t send me home with anything good. Boo. Only antibiotics-that weren’t working. -CS

  17. Lady Jaye June 10, 2008 at 9:53 am #

    Colt .45 always makes me think of Billy Dee Williams and then I swoon.

    How could you not swoon when thinking of Billy Dee? -CS

  18. Grant Miller, Esq. June 10, 2008 at 10:57 am #

    Is “mowing the lawn” code for something?

    Yes, it’s code for “mowing the lawn”. Don’t tell anyone! -CS

  19. Desiree June 10, 2008 at 3:50 pm #

    If I were you, I would seriously consider putting the bottle down.

    Of Colt 45? It is kind of heavy. -CS

  20. thegirlfromtheghetto June 10, 2008 at 9:44 pm #

    I just said this to my husband not 30 minutes ago “I wish I could go shopping in my pj’s and no bra.” Swear to god. I so hear you on high klass. Hee hee hee, good for you girl!

    Th Girl from the Ghetto

    You know, there are plenty of people that do that. I’ve seen them at the mall. Go crazy and do it! -CS

  21. pamajama June 11, 2008 at 12:40 am #

    Yes, this was truly hysterical. I especially enjoyed the “no bra/nightgown” part.

    However . . . let’s rewind the tape to the part where YOU COULD HAVE DIED! This kind of illness is nothing to play around with, Dear Catherinette.

    I just have to mention, also, that I am so excited you’ve been forced to get to know this guy. The line about not doing something like having his peen in your hand — priceless and so real.

    I keep forgetting that part. Want to hear something crazy? I had a follow up appointment yesterday and the doctor told me that I have a swollen blood vessel in my brain. Apparently, I could have ended up in a coma. Crazy!

    Lesson learned. No more lawn mowing. -CS

  22. Dora June 11, 2008 at 2:51 pm #

    OMG!! Are you out of your mind mowing the lawn after being so sick you were in the hospital for a week???????????
    Please stop everything right now!
    Go to bed!
    Stay there!
    Your white blood cells need to get better and fight off the infection!!
    Stay in bed!!
    Whew! Now I feel better…..how about you? A little bit?

    I am crazy. I just couldn’t help myself. And now it’s the carpet that’s driving me insane and I’m this [ ] close to vacuuming even though I’m not supposed to. -CS

  23. the princess June 12, 2008 at 7:34 pm #

    that’s called ghetto klass lady too funny

    I didn’t think they had lawns in the ghetto. -CS

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