Grow Up

23 May

When did this happen?   No, I’m not referring to a herp sore or how I’ve managed to gain 40+ pounds since I graduated from college 13 years ago.  I have a hard time pinpointing the exact moment that I became an adult.

I find myself wondering about this from time to time when I’m laying (alone, oh so very alone) in my bed in the home I bought with my very own money (and the money that my mom and dad so generously gave me).  There’s a list of things that I run down when the question pops into my head.

  • I own a single family home.  Sure the yard is an absolute freaking disaster, but it’s mine and I can do whatever I want with it.  And that includes never having had the gutters cleaned since I bought the house in 2003.
  • I own a car.  Which desperately needs an oil change…and has needed one for about 6 months now.
  • I mow my own lawn.  And the water meter too.
  • I pay my bills on time (usually).  Depending on whether or not it’s going to get in my way of boozing.
  • I have a job.  Scratch that, I have a career-complete with benefits, paid vacation, business cards and a shiny title.

Yet none of these things makes me feel like a grown up.  In my mind, I’m still that insecure, teenager from high school.  The one that was too shy to talk to boys, and would turn bright red if the teacher ever called on my in class.  The girl that would watch from the sidelines as her crush flirted with another girl.

We all have our moments of immaturity, I probably have more than most people, but the fact is that I am an adult.  The realization hit me this morning when I was reminding myself to run an errand at lunch time.  This is the ultimate errand in adulthood-nothing beats this.  Nothing.

I’m going out to buy a 12 pack of beer and condoms.

I’m so boss it freaking hurts me.  Maybe I’ll pick up a copy of the Economist and yell at some kids to get their asses in school. I’m totally grown up.  Either that or I really am in high school and I’m borrowing my older sister’s fake ID so I can score some Milwaukee’s Best.

15 Responses to “Grow Up”

  1. Amadeo May 23, 2008 at 9:40 am #

    Oh yeah…well I own sportcoats and ties…plus I worry about my credit score. OOoooohhhhhh

    Thinking about my credit score makes me want to weep like a baby. A baby that ruined her credit score in college because she really wanted all those Ann Taylor clothes. -CS

  2. Red May 23, 2008 at 9:40 am #

    Triple D? Fingers crossed!

    Pleading the 5th. -CS

  3. doorknob_dan May 23, 2008 at 9:49 am #

    In all honesty, even though I’m fast approaching 33 (well, I guess just as ‘fast’ as anyone else is approaching their own birthday) I still feel like a 20 year old kid.

    Or wait, did I mean “feel up a 20 year old kid”? I’m not sure.

    Either way’s not so bad, I guess.

    I remember when I was 33…

    Hey, and there’s nothing wrong with feeling up a 20 year old kid. If they’re old enough to make bad decisions, then you should take full advantage of that. -CS

  4. Philly May 23, 2008 at 9:52 am #

    Well, I’m a bit older than you guys. well maybe alot older but I still feel like I’m 40 !!! LOL

    Sometimes I feel like I’m 40. -CS

  5. 5 of 9er May 23, 2008 at 10:33 am #

    Well good for you! It’s sad when people try to fight the fact that they grew up. 🙂

    I don’t fight it, I just don’t feel grown up. That’s totally different. Plus you can’t make me admit that I’m an adult! I won’t do it! -CS

  6. Newmie May 23, 2008 at 11:11 am #

    I would have bought a 6-pack. You don’t want to run the risk of accidental whiskey dick.:)

    That’s just one whore’s opinion.

    Well, I ended up with zero beer because the stupid liquor store didn’t have what I wanted. Damn them and their stupid wine. -CS

  7. step right up May 23, 2008 at 11:55 am #

    I feel responsible but definitely not adult.

    That’s because you’re totally immature. -CS

  8. renalfailure May 23, 2008 at 3:03 pm #

    I knew I was an adult when the district attorney informed me I would be charged as one.

    But the question is did you FEEL like one? I bet to those other guys in lock up you felt like the new girl that was just gonna take it. -CS

  9. Brandi May 23, 2008 at 3:36 pm #

    And here I thought that I was the only one who felt this turmoil about adulthood. I have a home, a job, pay my bills, have a child, and have been married. I am squeeking up on 35. I still wonder when I am going to feel like a grown up.
    Maybe it would help if I didn’t still have to sit at the “kid’s table” for family functions. To my defense, the “kids” now range from 35-22. There is now an additional “little kids” section for the next generation. But, I am never at the “adult” table.

    Sitting at the kids table is the freaking bomb. As a matter of fact, I’m the oldest kid at the kids table, everyone else is in their early 30’s. -CS

  10. Gaining Some LB's May 23, 2008 at 3:56 pm #

    47 here…..Shit if I am ever growing up!


    Fight it tooth and nail. That’s what I say. -CS

  11. thenextfish May 23, 2008 at 4:34 pm #

    I love how you just slip the condoms in there. I’m sure Triple D will be so impressed when you tell him the story of when you knew you were an adult.

    Oh hells no! I’m telling him nothing. Nothing. -CS

  12. pistols at dawn May 24, 2008 at 1:13 am #

    You’re putting the single in “single family home.”

    That’s one I haven’t heard before… -CS

  13. Bob Dobalina May 24, 2008 at 12:26 pm #

    I was just talking about this with a friend of mine last week. I feel like the same guy I was in college, who felt like the same guy he was back in high school, and on and on.

    Hell I still don’t feel like a grownup. I think my friend and I decided it’s having a kid that forces you to fully be an grown-up. *shrug* Until then, throw in some fireworks and smokes to your shopping list, make it a party!

    You’d think that were the case, but I know plenty of people with kids that have yet to grow up. Take Foxy as an example… -CS

  14. thegirlfromtheghetto May 26, 2008 at 2:27 pm #

    Girl, I’m 37 and still feel like I’m not grown up. BTW, I’ve really enjoyed readying your blog today and added you to my blogroll.

    I wonder if we’ll be thinking these same things when we’re in our 70’s.

    Thanks for the add! -CS

  15. Ginormous Boobs May 30, 2008 at 4:24 pm #

    I will still be holding pie fights and wrestling matches when I’m 60. And that’s a promise!

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