Archive | 4:14 pm

Hey, Girls, Hey

22 May

Dear Newmie and One Date Wonder,

I’m finally free from the confines of my meeting and am ready to put together a proposal for our new delivery service called “Peenies-R-Us”.  Just before sitting down to do that I was going through my blog stats and realized something.  I believe there are several readers that are looking for you based on the search terms that I’m seeing:

  1. cameltoe sightings
  2. she only dates losers
  3. racks and cleavage
  4. high dollar bus stop skank

Just thought you’d want to know.  How they found their way here, I cannot say.  Clearly there’s some sort of strange glitch in wordpress today.

Today’s News

22 May

People, I have some good news and some very bad news for you today.  Which do you want first?

The bad news: 

I’m going to be trapped in meetings all the live long day.  That means you don’t get any super funny posts.  I’m sorry, but sometimes I have to do my job.  It can’t be about you all the time.  Really, stop being so freaking selfish!  It’s not like I get paid to sit around here and post all day long…even though I manage to find a way to do it.

Yeah, it’s true.  I went out and got all boozy suzy last night.  One drink turned into 3 cocktails, a shot, and a beer.  I have excellent judgement.  I really do.  And you know what we saw out last night?  Strippers.  There’ were actually strippers hanging out at the same bar that we were in.  They did not belong there.

The good news:

3D and I were emailing yesterday, like we have been most days since our fiery hot date on Sunday.  Yesterday, he sent me a picture (long story), and it just so happens that he is not wearing a shirt.  Holy Mary mother of the sinful things I’d like to do with him.  He is freaking cut.  CUT!!  You know how freaking long it’s been since I’ve seen a naked man that looked like that?  Not since…ever.  Not ever.  I’m pretty sure of it.

Additionally, I’m both smart and clever, and now an award winning blogger.  Well, actually a prize winning blogger.  I entered a little contest at Holiday Golightly and though I didn’t walk away with first prize, I did get a $50 gift certifcate.  Yeah, this totally doesn’t effect any of you but it makes me feel magical and special.