The College Years

20 May

Had I known in college what I know now, I would have whored it up way more back then.  Good god it was easy to hook up back then.  All it took was 3 Miller Lites, an invitation to listen to a new CD, and my pants would be down around my ankles.  Hooking up wasn’t the only thing I did during college, I’ll have you know that I also enjoyed my booze, and sleeping in.  My Senior year in college I spent most of my time doing two things: drinking and lusting after several fellow classmates.  One of those was Lawman.

Lawman was 6’4″, had one blue and one green eye, and was hot as sin.  Dirty, dirty sin.  Christ was he hot.  And dirty.  We had known each other since Sophomore year and were close friends-though not quite close enough for my taste.  For most of the time that we knew each other he dated Psycho.  Holy crap was she insane.  They would break up, she’s have a psycho episode in the student union and yell at him in front of everyone, he’d sleep with someone else, and then they’d get back together.  She was crazy.  Unbalanced.  Not sane.  One night, I even thought she was going to take a swing at me in one of the local bars.  This was about 20 minutes after she had thrown herself on the sidewalk and beat her fists on the ground.  Crazy.

There are certain nights that are still clear as a bell, and others that are just as hazy now as they have always been.  I clearly remember several occasions at the end of the night when I was saying goodbye to Lawman and his 2 hot friends.  At some point in the night he had touched the nape of my neck and I had pushed him off of me.  He was stunned by my reaction and demanded an explanation.  Fact is that it drove me absolutely insane (still does to this very day).  He laughed and left me alone-until the end of the night.  They all thought it was extremely amusing to each kiss me directly under my right ear.  I just about died right there.

The place to go back then was a bar in the Commons called Plums.  The smart thing to do was go relatively early and get a table.  You’d have the perfect spot as the entire college seemed to walk by your table.  Being in my early 20’s, I thought it an extremely smart thing to do to begin my evening with either a shot of Gold Schlager, or a Mind Eraser.  It’s no wonder that 1/2 of my Senior year is a complete freaking blur.  The environment was ripe for making bad decisions, it’s a wonder I didn’t end up pregnant or with a case of the clap.

We did, eventually, end up having a very “romantic” romp on a night that I was bombed out of my mind.  Oh those were good times, times.  But that’s a story for a rainy day…

17 Responses to “The College Years”

  1. Gaining Some LB's May 20, 2008 at 11:06 pm #

    I start college in August. Haven’t been to school in 30 years……Sure hope my pants are down around my ankles….ALOT.

    I knew this was a good idea….this school thing.

    Oh, the stories I will have to tell the offsprings!!!


    Good for you for going back! I too hope you spend a lot of time with your pants around your ankles. It’s the best! -CS

  2. SinCity May 21, 2008 at 12:02 am #


    My gay boyfriend and I used to do shots of GoldSchlager in his room before going out and dance to LaBouche…

    And mind-erasers!!! NO body I know knows what the hell a mind-eraser is! This confirms we must someday get all boozy suzy together.

    Anyway my point on the mind erasers – my 21st bday – there are pictures of me holding up the wall after like… 3 of those things (plus countless other things)

    okay. yes. wall was holding me up. I recall zero of this. I only know because some fucker took pictures… 🙂

    SinCity, why haven’t I seen these pictures? You need to immediately go and post them up. That would be the best! -CS

  3. edger May 21, 2008 at 12:05 am #

    Right there with ya. I was far too ‘good’ for my own good in college. Though I think it was less Plums and more Moonshadows for me.

    Moonshadows was pretty awesome too, except when I was hammered and people wanted to play darts. Then it was just freaking embarrassing. -CS

  4. Jenna May 21, 2008 at 12:09 am #

    When I think about the amount of Goldschlager I imbibed my senior year in college…it’s a wonder I still remember my name. Good god that stuff is evil. To this day, if I even smell it I get all nauseated.

    You know what? We should all make a pact that we’re going out this Friday and we’re each doing a shot of that crap. -CS

  5. Del-v May 21, 2008 at 7:29 am #

    I spent my senior year in college in the library studying for the GMATs. I had no time for drinking and casual romance. Drinking and lust isn’t what college is about, it is about preparing yourself for your career and your life ahead. Ms. Singleton, you are setting a bad example for any children who may be reading this.

    Just kidding.

    I spent my senior year plastered on a stool at Bentley’s drinking rail vodka and $1.00 long necks.

    Pay attention kids – get a good fake ID as soon as you go to college, no matter what it costs. It’s the only way you’ll get laid.

    This is most excellent advice. A fake ID is key. And don’t ever lend it to a sibling because they might put it through the washing machine and ruin everything. Thanks, little sister. -CS

  6. Wontletlifedefineme / Marjolein May 21, 2008 at 8:18 am #

    I’m still at uni, but now that most of my friends have graduated and I’m writing my thesis I hardly spend any time there anymore. Monday one of my friends graduated and we spent the whole evening at the student-restaurant in the old city centre where we used to spend at least one evening a week. We had such a blast, everyone sharing their food, combining several desserts to make one really good one (chocolate ice cream with strawberries). Sometimes I wish it would never end!

    Let me be the first to tell you that real life sucks donkey balls.

    Actually, that’s not true. There is something nice about making your own money and being able to spend it anyway you want to (on booze and shoes). What really sucks is that the cocktail flu just gets worse and worse and it’s harder to stay up late. -CS

  7. Newmie May 21, 2008 at 9:14 am #

    I often go to sleep at night wishing I could go back and start over, knowing what I know now, of course.

    Come to think about it, I haven’t learned that much as I am making the same mistakes I made when I was 19.


    You and me both, sister. -CS

  8. Meg May 21, 2008 at 10:03 am #

    I actually found sex and drugs to be a better mix than alcohol. But I discovered that in high school.

    I was such a goody goody in High School. I never did anything, nor did I ever cut a single class. Not one. -CS

  9. Amadeo May 21, 2008 at 11:26 am #

    How dare you not go into to full disclosure on the romp. I’m at work dammit…cliff-hangers will not entertain me for the rest of the day!!!!

    Sure they will!! It’ll make you come back and look for an update.

    I’m totally saving it for a day when I can’t think of anything else to post. -CS

  10. pistols at dawn May 21, 2008 at 7:19 pm #

    Hi. I’m the point of that story. Apparently, you’ll have to wait for an unspecified date in the future to find out about me.

    I guess I’ll have to wait for it too. -CS

  11. Write Procrastinator May 21, 2008 at 10:44 pm #

    “All it took was 3 Miller Lites, an invitation to listen to a new CD, and my pants would be down around my ankles.”

    Dang, I should of taken the SATs instead of clubbing at that age. The liquor apparently goes further and gets better results.

    No one ever tells you the real reason you want to get a high score on your SATS-it’s just so you can get into a good college and hook up. Had they told me that I would have worked much harder. -CS

  12. Write Procrastinator May 21, 2008 at 10:48 pm #

    “This was about 20 minutes after she had thrown herself on the sidewalk and beat her fists on the ground.”

    Damn, if she hasn’t self-destructed by now, she probably gargles every morning with pepper spray in anticpation of her next relationship.

    Trainwreck. Total trainwreck. -CS

  13. Wontletlifedefineme / Marjolein May 22, 2008 at 8:02 am #

    About real life, I’ve got two jobs to support myself, so I know a bit what it’s like… It’s still nice to have spending money though. All my friends who work fulltime get to travel around the world a whole lot more than I do!

    I want to travel around the world. -CS

  14. thegirlfromtheghetto May 26, 2008 at 2:31 pm #

    You just reminded me of my college scam, Rugged Good Looks Guy. I wonder where he is now …. College was the best, wasn’t it?

    It really was. And I totally want to hear about Rugged Good Looks Guy. -CS

  15. Ginormous Boobs May 30, 2008 at 4:18 pm #

    Man, I worked so much in college (film school, internships, blah blah blah) I had no time for this kinda thing.

    No wonder I was 30 years old before I got drunk.


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