Dating Tips From Catherinette

18 May

Let me give you a little dating tip: when you’re getting ready to go out on a first date with someone, resist the urge to cut your bangs.

WHAT HAVE I DONE??

Oh god.  He’s going to notice.  Why on god’s green earth did I pick today of all days to trim my bangs?  WHY??  Seriously, it’s bad.  I did something similar when I was a freshman in high school-on yearbook picture day.  I was immortalized in pictures with the most jacked up bangs anyone had ever seen.  Two different lengths, both of which were too short.

How am I going to explain this?  There’s really no reasonable explanation, other than I 3 sheets to the wind and took scissors to my hair to punish myself for all of the mistakes I’ve made in life.  Somehow, I don’t think he’ll understand.

A hat.  Perhaps I will wear a hat.  After all, we are meeting at a bar.  Plus, it helps to cover up the afro that the wonderful rain has given me. 

Fuck.  FUCK!! 

Thank freaking god I didn’t do anything to my eyebrows…though there is still time. 

Advertisements

10 Responses to “Dating Tips From Catherinette”

  1. Philly May 18, 2008 at 3:46 pm #

    The uneven look is soooo in right now!!

    Oh yeah, totally awesome. I’m sure Vogue will be calling me any minute. -CS

  2. Bunny May 18, 2008 at 3:50 pm #

    Maybe you could spray it into submission?

    Take all the hair at the front and twist it back and clasp it or something.

    Clipped back. That’s the way to go. -CS

  3. bob dobalina May 18, 2008 at 6:01 pm #

    Women have hair? I’ll be damned.

    Now I’m concerned and seriously considering that protective order. -CS

  4. Gaining Some LB's May 18, 2008 at 6:03 pm #

    This is when a huge pimple would come in handy.

    He would be so taken back by the sheer size of the pimple, the bangs would not even be noticeable.

    Peace
    #2

    Simone was trying to make her presence known, thankfully I was able to talk her down into submission. I have a better trick: boobs. The more cleavage that’s shown, the less likely he’d be to stare at my hair. It worked. -CS

  5. Mister Underhill May 18, 2008 at 8:19 pm #

    Post pics! Just cover the eyes if you are afraid of being recognized.

    Let me think about that for a minute…No. -CS

  6. Allison May 19, 2008 at 4:31 pm #

    Argh, I’ve done that. I did it right before a vacation where everybody and their cousin (it was a family trip, after all) seemed to have a camera. I believe it was the photos that inspired me to grow them out. And then my previous hair lady accidentally created them again. Hence the previous.

    I have also literally waxed skin off of my face and tinkered with a stye to the point of having my eye swollen shut on the first day of a new job when photo i.d.’s were being taken.

    Bet you have tons of those pictures scattered around the house to remember the good times.

    Home waxing is always a bad idea. Never ever do it. -CS

  7. Write Procrastinator May 21, 2008 at 11:06 pm #

    Lacquer whatever is leftover up and to the back…oh, and your bangs, too.

    I fixed them. It’s much better now. Pinning them back makes everything seem so much better. -CS

  8. Desiree May 27, 2008 at 4:05 pm #

    I’m glad it all worked out. I’ve been there, sister!

    Maybe it’s the jacked up bangs that helped me score a second date. -CS

  9. Ginormous Boobs May 30, 2008 at 4:12 pm #

    Bobby D is harmless, I promise. The only thing you have to worry about are long emails from him.

  10. Chef Green March 9, 2009 at 2:05 pm #

    OK, thank god that I’m not the only who has done a “pre date cocktail and clean up session” that has gone horribly awry.

    I’m a decent looking guy with long hair. I had a hot date a few months ago with a guy whos “peen” may as well have had something like “my 401(k) is bigger than yours, I speak three languages, and can make you nut without even touching you” tattooed on it.

    I, having not had a proper haircut in about a month, thought it would be a good idea to trim up some “fly aways,” make a great impression with my style and charm….etc.

    I ended up with merlot-mouth and a bald spot. I told Super Hot Date that I’d had to deface myself because of a frat house dare. I graduated from college FIVE years ago. He believed me.

    Y’all, stay AWAY from the snippers and the liqours…at least in tandem.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: