Dating Tips From Catherinette

18 May

Let me give you a little dating tip: when you’re getting ready to go out on a first date with someone, resist the urge to cut your bangs.


Oh god.  He’s going to notice.  Why on god’s green earth did I pick today of all days to trim my bangs?  WHY??  Seriously, it’s bad.  I did something similar when I was a freshman in high school-on yearbook picture day.  I was immortalized in pictures with the most jacked up bangs anyone had ever seen.  Two different lengths, both of which were too short.

How am I going to explain this?  There’s really no reasonable explanation, other than I 3 sheets to the wind and took scissors to my hair to punish myself for all of the mistakes I’ve made in life.  Somehow, I don’t think he’ll understand.

A hat.  Perhaps I will wear a hat.  After all, we are meeting at a bar.  Plus, it helps to cover up the afro that the wonderful rain has given me.

Fuck.  FUCK!!

Thank freaking god I didn’t do anything to my eyebrows…though there is still time.

10 Responses to “Dating Tips From Catherinette”

  1. Philly May 18, 2008 at 3:46 pm #

    The uneven look is soooo in right now!!

    Oh yeah, totally awesome. I’m sure Vogue will be calling me any minute. -CS

  2. Bunny May 18, 2008 at 3:50 pm #

    Maybe you could spray it into submission?

    Take all the hair at the front and twist it back and clasp it or something.

    Clipped back. That’s the way to go. -CS

  3. bob dobalina May 18, 2008 at 6:01 pm #

    Women have hair? I’ll be damned.

    Now I’m concerned and seriously considering that protective order. -CS

  4. Gaining Some LB's May 18, 2008 at 6:03 pm #

    This is when a huge pimple would come in handy.

    He would be so taken back by the sheer size of the pimple, the bangs would not even be noticeable.


    Simone was trying to make her presence known, thankfully I was able to talk her down into submission. I have a better trick: boobs. The more cleavage that’s shown, the less likely he’d be to stare at my hair. It worked. -CS

  5. Mister Underhill May 18, 2008 at 8:19 pm #

    Post pics! Just cover the eyes if you are afraid of being recognized.

    Let me think about that for a minute…No. -CS

  6. Allison May 19, 2008 at 4:31 pm #

    Argh, I’ve done that. I did it right before a vacation where everybody and their cousin (it was a family trip, after all) seemed to have a camera. I believe it was the photos that inspired me to grow them out. And then my previous hair lady accidentally created them again. Hence the previous.

    I have also literally waxed skin off of my face and tinkered with a stye to the point of having my eye swollen shut on the first day of a new job when photo i.d.’s were being taken.

    Bet you have tons of those pictures scattered around the house to remember the good times.

    Home waxing is always a bad idea. Never ever do it. -CS

  7. Write Procrastinator May 21, 2008 at 11:06 pm #

    Lacquer whatever is leftover up and to the back…oh, and your bangs, too.

    I fixed them. It’s much better now. Pinning them back makes everything seem so much better. -CS

  8. Desiree May 27, 2008 at 4:05 pm #

    I’m glad it all worked out. I’ve been there, sister!

    Maybe it’s the jacked up bangs that helped me score a second date. -CS

  9. Ginormous Boobs May 30, 2008 at 4:12 pm #

    Bobby D is harmless, I promise. The only thing you have to worry about are long emails from him.

  10. Chef Green March 9, 2009 at 2:05 pm #

    OK, thank god that I’m not the only who has done a “pre date cocktail and clean up session” that has gone horribly awry.

    I’m a decent looking guy with long hair. I had a hot date a few months ago with a guy whos “peen” may as well have had something like “my 401(k) is bigger than yours, I speak three languages, and can make you nut without even touching you” tattooed on it.

    I, having not had a proper haircut in about a month, thought it would be a good idea to trim up some “fly aways,” make a great impression with my style and charm….etc.

    I ended up with merlot-mouth and a bald spot. I told Super Hot Date that I’d had to deface myself because of a frat house dare. I graduated from college FIVE years ago. He believed me.

    Y’all, stay AWAY from the snippers and the liqours…at least in tandem.

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