2008 Children’s Classics

14 May

Foxy, Disney, Amber*, and I just got back from lunch.  As we piled into Disney’s sweet Altima (the spoiler makes the car), Foxy announced that she was going to flash her hooha upon exiting the vehicle.  This, of course, was in homage to one of the role models for today’s youth, Paris Hilton.

Upon our arrival to our glorious parking garage, and Foxy’s hooha flashing I was inspired to come up with names for books that will obviously become classics for the kids of the most recent generations.

  • Whoreton Hears a Hooha
  • Winnie the Peen
  • Bi-curious George
  • Frog & Toad are Friends with Benefits
  • Oh the Places You’ll Ho
  • The Adventures of Peenochio

I can just imagine kids and their parents standing in line for hours waiting to get the books fresh off the press.  Forget you JK Rowling and your Harry Potter books.  And I can’t even wait for the film adaptation of the books.  This is a goldmine.  Parents will literally be dragging their kids to the movies.  Especially the dads. 

*Her name is Amber because that’s a stripper name and this girl has a smoking hot body that belongs wrapped around a pole-not in Corporate America.  I mean really, this girl could make some serious cash.  SERIOUS CASH.  Oh, and she’s a gymnast.  I see you boys pulling out your wallets already.

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12 Responses to “2008 Children’s Classics”

  1. Mike May 14, 2008 at 2:48 pm #

    Woohoo! #6 and counting. You go girl!

    I am totally going to take 5th place today! -CS

  2. Jen May 14, 2008 at 3:01 pm #

    I need more people like you at my office. That was awesome! And yes, I’d probably crack one open if I saw it on a bookstore shelf.

    What was awesome? The book titles or Foxy’s inappropriate flashing? -CS

  3. Amadeo May 14, 2008 at 3:16 pm #

    Frog and Toad is about tolerance huh? It’s important to teach those lesson early.

    It’s really more about how to survive after you hook up with a friend-how you work past that awkwardness when you wake up naked and hungover next to that certain someone. -CS

  4. sburns74 May 14, 2008 at 4:48 pm #

    I could really use a copy of Frog & Toad myself.

    You and me both, sister. -CS

  5. Jenna May 14, 2008 at 4:49 pm #

    Yeah, hey, that last one was me. Don’t ask 🙂

    You know that when you tell me not to ask I’m going to have to ask. Are you referring to the last comment, or the last book title? -CS

  6. pistols at dawn May 14, 2008 at 5:40 pm #

    So…which office bathrooms does Amber use? I need to know when to turn the webc- I mean, it’s important for security reasons.

    Just use the webcam in the ladies locker room at the gym. Maybe you can watch her toweling off. -CS

  7. teri May 14, 2008 at 9:08 pm #

    Has anyone told you lately that you’re brilliant?

    No? Let me be the first!

    Freaking HYSTERICAL!!!!!

    I hope you snorted while you read this. 🙂 -CS

  8. Jenna May 14, 2008 at 10:05 pm #

    The last comment. The one about Frog & Toad. That’s my current problem.

    How can that possibly be a problem. There are benefits! -CS

  9. Bee May 14, 2008 at 10:42 pm #

    Funny!
    When my sister was pregnant with her first, I suggested Amber after that 311 song and my brother’s were all ‘THAT’S A STRIPPER’S NAME!’.

    Phew! Close call!

    You might as well have suggested Candi or Bambi! -CS

  10. Newmie May 15, 2008 at 8:58 am #

    You forgot about my personal favorite: Little Red Riding Ho.

    Thank goodness I stopped wearing a red coat.

    Crap, better put my red coat away… -CS

  11. DUDACKATTACK May 15, 2008 at 10:55 am #

    Missing from the list:

    Its Inoperable, Charlie Brown!

    The Little Engine That Died

    Altar Boy Adventures With Father McFeeley

    That last one had me rolling! -CS

  12. Desiree May 15, 2008 at 5:18 pm #

    Wait a minute… I thought it was Britney Spears that flashed her hooha!?! Regardless, I’ll take one of each book, please.

    They both did it. -CS

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