Even Worse Than a Yellow(ish) Mustang

5 May

Happy Cinco de Mayo, bitches!!  My celebrating today will probably include some lawn mowing, a taco, and a margarita.  As should yours.  Thankfully, it will not include being picked up by the INS and being deported as I am an American citizen.  Un-boyfriend thinks he’s funny and frequently threatens to call them and have me sent back to where I came from.  He likes to pretend that I am not from Bethesda, MD.  He is special.  Short-bus special.

Anyway, this post has nothing to do with my Mexican heritage (too late).  Let us change subjects now and talk about my hateful white trash neighbors.  These are different white trash neighbors than the ones I’ve written about before.  These are the ones that have those 2 boys that I’d like to slap right across the mouths.  They used to bounce their basketball at all hours, skateboard right in front of my house (which would cause my dog to want to jump through the window and kill them) and ride their dirt bikes-right on everyone’s front lawns.

Last week, they moved.  I don’t know the whole story, but I do know that they were asked to vacate their rental property.  They ended up moving to a family member’s house-just 2 doors down from me in the opposite direction.  Joy.  I haven’t seen too much of them since then, thank god, except for the abomination that they left parked in front of my house.

The car had been parked across the street for a year.  An entire freaking year.  Then, on the day they got the boot, they decided to move it directly in front of my house.  Why??  What did I ever do to them?  Aside from curse them under my breath and give the kids the evil eye when they congregated on my front lawn?  Rat bastards.

It’s been there for almost a week and they have no intention of moving it.  So I did what any other loving caring neighbor would do: I called the cops and reported it as an abandoned vehicle.  Too bad those suckers let the registration expire 2 months ago.  Their tags will now get confiscated.  The cops said that it’ll probably take a few weeks, and that they’d start processing it immediately.  Frankly, I don’t care if it gets towed or not, I just want it away from my house.

A very happy Cinco de Mayo to you, white trash neighbors.

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12 Responses to “Even Worse Than a Yellow(ish) Mustang”

  1. Lauren May 5, 2008 at 9:58 am #

    What is that thing????

    It’s a travesty AND an abomination. Seriously, that car is one of the ugliest things I’ve ever seen. EVER! -CS

  2. Amadeo May 5, 2008 at 10:13 am #

    That probably felt good, but cutting the tires would have felt better…your option will get it moved faster though.

    I did consider keying the hood, but decided against it. -CS

  3. Infamous JP May 5, 2008 at 11:06 am #

    I’m beginning to think that yellow is your anti-sex color. Every single yellow(ish) item results in a “No-Sex-For-Catherinette” night. We have got to have an intervention. I’m coming up with my non-yellow car and we are going to break that curse if it takes all freaking night. Then I’ll leave in the morning.

    Two important things here:

    1. We’re gonna have to make out in your car because I love making out in cars.
    2. Please check with me before you come up here because if it’s that time of the month I will shed some tears.

    -CS

  4. Mike May 5, 2008 at 11:23 am #

    Wow I haven’t heard the short bus referrance in a long time. Good one. Way to go on the car. I was just about to recommend you doing that.

    Great minds, Mike. Great minds. -CS

  5. Katrina Perkosky May 5, 2008 at 12:00 pm #

    I’ve got white trash neighbors with broke down cars on the street and in their yards too! maybe now is the time for me to call the cops as well!

    Do it. That crap is an eyesore. Why do they have to keep their cars out like that? It’s just rude. -CS

  6. Mongoliangirl May 5, 2008 at 2:07 pm #

    I’m lovin’ the law enforcement tactic. Unless, of course, it is being used as a tactic against me. Which, of course, it regularly could be.

    I promise not to use it against you as long as you don’t park your yellow beater right in front of my house. -CS

  7. Newmie May 5, 2008 at 3:46 pm #

    After seeing said “hotrod,” I can only assume that the reason the car hasn’t been moved is simple…They decided to celebrate Cinco De Mayo a litte early and they’re too hungover, err, busy. Yeah, I meant busy.

    Well, I guess they’ve been busy for about a year because that car has pretty much lived out in front of my house for quite some time. -CS

  8. Philly May 5, 2008 at 5:37 pm #

    I bet my neighbors are trashier than yours

    Really? Because I have court documents proving that mine are awful. -CS

  9. pistols at dawn May 5, 2008 at 6:18 pm #

    When you don’t use a car for a year, can you really be that peeved about losing it? It’s probably just nice to know the thing still runs.

    Also, don’t front like you’re from Bethesda. Although, of all the places in the world, I’m not sure why you chose there. Unless you’re stalking me.

    Maybe they’ll think I’m doing them a favor.

    My dear, I was born in Bethesda. Right in the Naval Hospital. Take that! -CS

  10. pistols at dawn May 5, 2008 at 7:57 pm #

    Why were you stalking me from the moment of your birth, then? I mean, it’s flattering, but a bit desperate.

    I have been stalking you since before you were born. That’s how much I must have you. -CS

  11. SinCity May 5, 2008 at 9:19 pm #

    I think I have a girlblog crush on you right now…

    that is fucking too fantastic!!! I think your vindictive bitchy mcbitcherson side rivals and perhaps out does mine!

    XOXO

    You let me know if you need me to call the cops on anyone. If you decide to send flowers, I love daisies and star gazer lillies the best. -CS

  12. Bri May 7, 2008 at 2:50 pm #

    Great blog. you should just leave the car alone its a mustang parts unless it’s between the years 65-08 then feel free to do what ever you want LOL

    They crack me up now. I feel like I see them everywhere. -CS

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