Archive | 12:43 am

I’ll Give You Something to Cry About

13 Apr

I survived the encounter with the deadly wasp last night.  After writing the post, I got up very slowly, and took a peek in the mirror.  No wasp, it has flown away before starting a hive in my hair.  Lord only knows what happened to it.  As I’m sure you can imagine, I had trouble going to sleep for fear that the wasp might come back and attack me when I was most vulnerable.  Now I’m in need of a nap.

So here I am in my bed, all ready to drift off to sleep.  The windows are open and there’s a nice spring breeze making the curtains billow.  Just as my eyes are closing and I’m about to fall asleep I begin hearing a noise.  Not a lovely bird singing one of it’s melodic little spring songs.  No!  It’s some brat from 2 doors down crying.  Why is she crying?  I have no idea.  My guess is that she’s come to the realization that her adulthood will consist of her giving bj’s in bus station bathrooms.

She better shut the hell up before I start yelling obscenities out the windows.  Damn it!  There she goes again!!  SHUT IT!!

When did I become this person that hates the sounds of children?  The stupid boy that dribbles his damn basketball down the street, the 2 boys that skateboard up and down the sidewalk, the girls that yell about their Barbie dolls.  All of them make me want to never have children.  Not ever.  I never used to be this way.  My main goal in life was to get married and have kids.  Now here I am at 34 and all I want is a nap, a drink, and to strangle those blasted brats! 

Oh god!  Say it isn’t so!!  I’ve become a crabby old maid!!

For fucks sake!  Now they’re jumping on the trampoline and I can hear all of it.  So much for my nap!  Little bitches…