Who Knew?

4 Apr

How strange that match doesn’t include this in it’s slogan: Where fatties with double chins find love.  My profile has been up for a whopping 3 hours and has been viewed a few times.  Here’s something they all have in common: a nice double chin and a face that might give me nightmares.

What have I done?

17 Responses to “Who Knew?”

  1. Lindsey April 4, 2008 at 12:28 am #

    It’s the middle of the afternoon! The hotties are all busy working at their awesome, interesting jobs. The fatties with double chins are sitting at home watching Cartoon Network and surfing match at 4pm. Give it a bit, they’ll come a-runnin’!

    Good thing I wasn’t at home in my PJ’s at 4:00 watching Law & Order repeats. -CS

  2. Jenna April 4, 2008 at 12:38 am #

    Oh honey, it doesn’t get any better. I got talked into joining last fall and it’s a freaking nightmare. I just gave up. I don’t even care anymore. Internet dating and me, not so much a mix.

    I hope that it goes better for you. I’m sure the Baltimore hotties will appear for you soon 🙂

    Pretty sure Baltimore hotties are not on the site. -CS

  3. Red April 4, 2008 at 1:20 am #

    There used to be this totally hot guy with a name something like “dcguy1634″…not sure about the beginning, but the “1634” piqued my interest, because it’s the year Harvard was founded, and I used to have a thing for Harvard guys. I’m over it now. Anyway, he didn’t want me, because he insisted on a gal with big knockers. So he’s hot, smart and shallow, but maybe you’d succeed where I failed. Or maybe he’s long since ridden off into the sunset with the double D of his dreams; I haven’t been on match in more than a year.

    I’ve come to the conclusion that all of the super hot guys are totally fake profiles. Otherwise, why would they be on there? Granted, I’m super hot and I’m on there, and I have a good reason: I’m doing research. -CS

  4. MD April 4, 2008 at 2:10 am #

    It’s no cake walk for guys either. I only get emails from single mothers that smoke, wear moomoos, and frown upon college educations. Oh that, and the occasional fake profile that you know are Ukranian mobsters looking to kidnap you.

    But I hear there’s like a 3:1 ratio of guys to girls on the site, so numbers-wise , you should do just fine.

    Let me give you a tip: do not add any photos of you sporting denim shorts. I just about spit all over my screen when I saw a guy wearing a pair. Also, just say no to manpris. -CS

  5. WendyB April 4, 2008 at 2:24 am #

    You have to kiss a few double chins to find your prince, I guess!

    Hmm. . .perhaps there needs to be a fairytale written about that. -CS

  6. A Dating Diary April 4, 2008 at 2:47 am #

    Yes, a lot of these men have double chins. But its on the inside that matters, right?

    Eh, if you’d have to be hammered or wear a blindfold to have sex with him? scary… all those candidates just seem to be on match.

    I don’t do that whole “it’s what inside that matters”. I like the pretty packaging they come in. -CS

  7. Suze April 4, 2008 at 2:49 am #

    Ugh, if they’re actually admitting to double chins, I’d hate to see what they’re leaving out. Poor Catherinette!

    No, honey, they’re not admitting to having them. I can see them in their photographs. It’s a bad scene. -CS

  8. cinnkitty April 4, 2008 at 6:22 am #

    Okay… I’ve viewed your profile and *I* don’t have a double chin.. feel better? ha..ha.ha…


    Thanks for that! -CS

  9. Angie April 4, 2008 at 6:27 am #

    come back to me when you’ve heard from the two guys in wheelchairs, the dude from the next state over who wants to know if you’re interested in “poppin’ some bottles”, the guy who writes and entire e-mail about his interest in Sudoku (great passer of time, not worth an entire e-mail) and finally, the 45 year old who wants to know (at 11:35 p.m. mind you) if you want to come over to his place for a drink (on a Wednesday night)…

    double chins are the least of your worries 🙂

  10. MD April 4, 2008 at 3:40 pm #

    Even if I’ve got really nice legs?

    Nobody notices nice legs if there’s a double chin in site. I know this from experience as there was a time when I had a double chin. -CS

  11. DUDACKATTACK!!! April 4, 2008 at 6:47 pm #

    If by “manpris” you mean bike shorts, then yes, they are not photogenic but they sure help keep your nads from being mashed into pate when riding.

    I certainly feel MD’s pain. Match can be hell on earth. Your choices can be limited to a glanduar trainwreck sporting a trache-box or a Canton / Fed Hill Barbie Doll who loves to run and run and run and run and run. I perservered, got lucky and found someone and spent quite a while with. Then we drove each other insane. Cest la vie.

    Bike shorts are fine, as long as you’re going biking. Don’t go dressing those up with a bow tie and Crocs and call that your dress up outfit. That’s just a bad idea.

    What is it with running? Why are people so obsessed with it?? Frankly, I’d rather die than have to run. The only time I run is if someone is chasing me and my life is in danger-and even then I can only manage it for a few minutes. And by few I mean 2. There are so many people that have “runnr” in their usernames. Yuck. -CS

  12. Lola Magnolia April 4, 2008 at 7:11 pm #

    Pardon my language, but Match sucks donkey dick.

    But at least you get the double-chinned. I’m a loser magnet.

    Honey, plenty of these guys also come with plenty of loser-ness. Shall we talk about the guy that enjoys his World of Warcraft? Or perhaps the one that claims to read about html coding for fun? -CS

  13. pistols at dawn April 4, 2008 at 10:38 pm #

    Double chins are very attractive. Also, maybe you could be a little less mean to all the profiles I’m setting up just to check you out.

    Then stop putting pictures of your grandpa online. -CS

  14. fatboys need love too.

    Everyone needs love, there are just some people that I’m not going to be the one to give it to. -CS

  15. Write Procrastinator April 6, 2008 at 1:31 am #

    Now there’s a slogan-

    “Match.com, it’s chin-tastic!”

    Or “Match.com: Keep your chins up!” -CS

  16. Write Procrastinator April 7, 2008 at 4:11 am #

    Or “Match.com: Keep your chins up!”

    Excellent and you didn’t have to go to the old “Chinese phone book” stand-by.

    What old “Chinese phone book” stand-by? -CS

  17. Write Procrastinator April 8, 2008 at 6:04 pm #

    More “Chins” than a Chinese phone book, which considering the Chinese population in the Bay Area, still gets mentioned entirely too much.

    DER!! I’m so slow sometimes. -CS

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