Consider Yourself Warned

4 Apr

I’ve been inspired after reading this little gem of an article about Herman Flores who sold his sister for drugs.  I don’t do drugs, never been my thing.  But there are a few things out there that are getting expensive.

Sister, you might be sold for gasoline and or cocktails.  Pack a bag because you never know when it’s going to happen. Oh, and make sure that Damien and Lucy(fer) are bathed and they have a bag too.  I might put them up on ebay-I could use some heating oil.

This is a far better plan than my original one: Bartles & Jaymes for booze/fuel.  That’s being thrown right out the window.  This is what family is all about.  You mean a lot to me, and I hope I can get a high price for you.

7 Responses to “Consider Yourself Warned”

  1. Lola Magnolia April 4, 2008 at 7:27 pm #

    I thought about putting my kids up for sale on eBay but then I thought I wouldn’t get much for those two little evil children and decided against it. 😉

    It’s all about how you spin the benefits. Obviously, you wouldn’t want to mention anything about how evil they are. Take Comcast for example: you don’t see them placing anything about “incompetent customer service associates” in their adds. -CS

  2. Amadeo April 4, 2008 at 10:25 pm #

    I threaten to sell kids as slave labor all the time.

    Random kids off the street? -CS

  3. pistols at dawn April 4, 2008 at 10:35 pm #

    Well, now I’m not paying for your gas. Who wants kids? That’s the best part of oral: no kids can result. Unless you’re reallllllly drunk.

    I didn’t realize you had offered to pay for it in the first place! -CS

  4. Andrew April 5, 2008 at 1:49 am #

    Happiness is a large family living in a far away city. 🙂

    Then how are you going to sell any of them for gasoline? You’ll have to pay for travel expenses and that’s going to cut into your profit. -CS

  5. I’ll put my uncle Joe on the market as soon as possible.

    Have you sold him yet?? -CS

  6. Mister Underhill April 5, 2008 at 5:55 am #

    What’s wrong with people today? Who would sell their sister like that? Holy crap. So much more cost effective to rent by the hour.

    Damn it! You’re right! Thanks for not letting me make a big mistake. -CS

  7. Suze April 5, 2008 at 11:24 pm #

    I’d sell my sister for Krispy Kreme donuts.

    I prefer Dunkin Donuts myself. -CS

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