This One Goes Out to Claude

2 Apr

Let’s all take a moment to wish Claude good luck this evening.  A certain young stalker of his is about to get kicked to the curb. 

Have fun breaking up with him after 2 dates!!  He’ll probably melt down and want to talk about his feelings and tell you all about the plans that he had made for you.  The little house in the country, the 2 cats (Mr. Bojangles and Ms. Mimi von Buttons), the vacations out on the lake, etc.). Enjoy it, it’s a total blast.  If he tells you he loves you, do what I did when Hairy McBacksweat told me he loved me: stare at him and do not respond.

Another suggestion: make sure he knows you have “plans” tonight so he doesn’t keep you there draining you of all your energy while he drones on and on about feelings.  Feelings are stupid and are meant to be ignored and brushed aside.

11 Responses to “This One Goes Out to Claude”

  1. Claude April 2, 2008 at 11:50 pm #

    Sigh. I guess this is my punishment for trying to sample the fruit long before it has rotted off the tree.

    Thankfully, the majority of our week-long “relationship” was done over text (naughty pics and everything!). So, I’ll be “breaking up” with him over the phone this evening. While I fast-forward through American Idol. Because that is how much this “relationship” means to me.

    Please feel free to send the pictures of him my way. I can work some magic to create “Claude and KT Jr: A Retrospective.” Everyone would really enjoy it. -CS

  2. pistols at dawn April 3, 2008 at 12:07 am #

    I’d just tell him he wasn’t good in bed, and life’s too short for that. Then, when he’s weeping, race out the door.

    Good plan! Frankly, I vote to just break up via text. If that’s how the relationship was conducted, then it’s acceptable. -CS

  3. A Dating Diary April 3, 2008 at 12:09 am #

    Yes, I second this sending of pictures. It would highly effective in grasping the depth of emotional attachment and heart break to ensue.

    How awesome would it be to do that! -CS

  4. Mister Underhill April 3, 2008 at 12:10 am #

    Why don’t you care about my feelings!!!! Sign.

    Wait, you have feelings? I thought you just had a peen. -CS

  5. Claude April 3, 2008 at 12:22 am #

    I’m half-tempted to send you the pictures, as I’m very curious to see what you would do with a couple ass shots and a cock shot.

    You’ve seen the work that I can do with photos! Come on! Do it for the people. -CS

  6. Ginormous Boobs April 3, 2008 at 12:26 am #

    Claude: Send them this way. I would love to add to my peen photo collection!

    GB, I have no doubt in my mind that you have a peen photo collection. Why have you been hording it?? -CS

  7. Mister Underhill April 3, 2008 at 5:20 am #

    It is very sensitive.

    It truly is. -CS

  8. Ginormous Boobs April 3, 2008 at 7:42 pm #

    I’ll start posting them on photobucket today!

    Yay! I feel like it’s my birthday. . .I just need some cake. -CS

  9. Amadeo April 3, 2008 at 9:05 pm #

    I recommend just texting, “You and me…no. Life…enjoy”.

    What a most excellent idea! -CS

  10. Red April 4, 2008 at 12:13 am #

    My ethics say that any relationship that has involved sex demands an in-person breakup. That’s just me.

    Two things for you to know:

    1) Claude and I have loose morals.
    2) The “sex” was all virtual. Where do you stand now?

    -CS

  11. Ginormous Boobs April 4, 2008 at 2:27 am #

    Hoarding no more…check your email

    You, my dear, are really something. 🙂 -CS

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