My Big News

1 Apr

I’ve done something that I hadn’t written about.  Mainly because of the mocking that would ensure if I had written it down.  The time has come.  Remember back at the beginning of the month when I saw Mr. Yellow Mustang?  What I declined to mention was that we ended up back at his house, naked, sweaty and out of breath.  I promptly got dressed, got out of there, and didn’t pick up the phone when he called me a few days later to see if I wanted to “get together”.

It’s been almost a month, and for the last 2 weeks there’s been a. . .um. . .let’s just say that it burns when I pee and it itches.  This morning when I launched my work email from him, there was a message: 

Hey, Catherinette.  How r u? i tried to call u a fewe times.  i was realy hoping to talk with you about this over the phone butt you haven’t returned my calls.  i went to the the dr and he says i have gonorrea.  u should probably get tested.

He went on to talk about stupid crap like whether I was going to be at the next volunteer event on Sunday (uh, no), and if I had made any summer vacation plans yet.  Yeah, great.  Listen, thanks for letting me know that I chose to hit it with someone with the clap.  No, really.  Happy New Year to you and thanks for all the chit chat.  Seriously, I hate you.

I picked the wrong f’ing week to stop f*ing swearing. 

Just freaking kidding!  Come on now, don’t you think I’d totally tell you if I had gotten some?? Happy first of April.  I know there are probably 4 of you that fell for this and the rest of you were on to me.  Know what? I don’t care.  As long as someone fell for it I’m happy.

18 Responses to “My Big News”

  1. Lauren April 1, 2008 at 5:58 pm #

    Oh no you didn’t. You did not just pull the “I’m Pregnant – April Fools on the blog” trick… Tell me the lack of lovin’ has brought you to this… Oh my poor dear Catherinette…

    Too much? Do you think I should have gone for the “he gave me the herp” trick?? -CS

  2. Lady Jaye April 1, 2008 at 6:36 pm #

    oh my…lol i could lie and say you fooled me but it was a good effort 😉

    Damn it!! I should have gone for the herp! That’s it. I’m changing the story right now! -CS

  3. Ginormous Boobs April 1, 2008 at 6:57 pm #

    I kind of imagine that every douchebag in a yellow Mustang has the clap, so this was pretty damn believable.

    They probably do. I hear that in order to actually purchase a yellow Mustang you have to test positive for the clap. -CS

  4. Cherry April 1, 2008 at 7:04 pm #

    In Ireland it is 4pm, and over here you are the fool if you try to April fool someone ater midday.
    I totally forgot about the time difference and completely fell for this after dodging several laughable attempts this morning!
    I take my hat off to you.

    Woo hoo!! My tricks are impacting the global community! -CS

  5. Red April 1, 2008 at 7:33 pm #

    I bought it. THE SHAME! Oh, the humanity!

    It does seem like he’s the kinda guy where you may as well f- a petri dish.

    Score! Another sucker kind soul who fell for my evil joke! -CS

  6. Mike April 1, 2008 at 7:49 pm #

    You suck. LOL. I bought it. Hook, line, and sinker. Good one.

    This really is making me all joyful inside. -CS

  7. Infamous JP April 1, 2008 at 8:04 pm #

    Damn You!!!! I was working on my own April Fool’s, something happened to me during my last sexual conquest!!!

    I thought we agreed we would never mention it. I told you I was sorry about it and paid for your anti-itch cream! -CS

  8. Lauren April 1, 2008 at 8:08 pm #

    “In Ireland it is 4pm, and over here you are the fool if you try to April fool someone ater midday.” OMG! CS? Fooling people around the globe! Ok, much better story. Much more believable ; )

    It’s all the spelling errors in the phony email, isn’t it? That’s the clincher. -CS

  9. April April 1, 2008 at 8:41 pm #

    i enjoyed your blog, very funny!

    I aim to please! -CS

  10. Amadeo April 1, 2008 at 9:30 pm #

    I would believe it…cause that would fit into the pattern. Nothing, make-out, nothing, stood up, success…clap.

    Umm. . .thanks? -CS

  11. tabbie April 1, 2008 at 9:40 pm #

    I totally believe(d) you had the clap. Awesome.

    Thank you for believing that I’m a wreckless hussy with no standards. It touches me. -CS

  12. Andrew April 1, 2008 at 10:49 pm #

    You should have written that it was Pistols who gave you the clap..and then wiped his knob on your curtains – much more believable 😉

    Mr Yellow Mustang ? You would have had more fun with his gear stick.

    You guys totally would not have believed it! -CS

  13. Jenna April 1, 2008 at 10:56 pm #

    You didn’t fool me, missy, but it was highly entertaining none the less. I’m sad to admit that I’m getting the most giggles out of “phone butt.” Hi, I’m 12.

    I figured it would look more authentic if he couldn’t spell. I thought phone butt was funny too! -CS

  14. pamajama April 1, 2008 at 11:09 pm #

    I totally fell for it. I was thinking how brave you were for admitting to it. LOL

    BWAHAHA!! Another one fooled! -CS

  15. gnugs April 1, 2008 at 11:55 pm #

    I fell for it, and turned pink laughing at you. I guess that’s all well and good since I’m now the same color, just mortified. DAMNIT!

    Tee hee! -CS

  16. smartcookie12 April 2, 2008 at 5:53 am #

    you got me, too. and I was thinking the same thing pamajama was-wow-she’s admitting it on the internet and the Ixia bartender is going to know…

    Tee hee! Fooling others really brings me joy. It’s kind of sick. -CS

  17. pistols at dawn April 2, 2008 at 9:56 pm #

    I did believe you had the clap, but figured it was my fault, so I only half-believed you.

    Well, here’s the thing, you should have known it wasn’t the clap because you didn’t give that to me. You gave me the herp. -CS

  18. Staci April 9, 2008 at 1:16 am #

    I believed it! I felt bad for you in so many ways, not only because of the clap but also because you did it with a guy with such bad grammar.

    I love that you fell right into my trap. 🙂 -CS

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