Archive | 9:17 pm

F*ck That Sh*t! Update

31 Mar

A whole 5 hours and 21 minutes passed by without a single utterance of a dirty word.  Then I found myself in traffic at lunch time.  Disney and I were on our way to The Flying Avocado and a slow driver was in front of us.  There was rage.  Before I could stop myself, I dropped the f bomb.  Darn it!  This is going to be much harder than I thought.

On a side note, we did enjoy some inappropriate humor along the way:

  • Me: Should we invite Foxy to lunch?
  • Disney: She already went down and got something.
  • Me: What did she get?  The clap? 
  • Disney: It smells like cheese.
  • Me: That’s what she said!
  • Me: So then he told me to have a good day.
  • Disney: That was really nice of him.
  • Me: Yeah, he wants me.
  • Disney: How could you tell?
  • Me: It was the look in his eyes when he said it.  What he really meant by “a good day” was “my cock in your mouth.”

F bomb #2 just got dropped at 2:27.  Darn it!!

F*ck That Sh*t!

31 Mar

This is probably going to come as a total shock to some of you (and by “some” of you I mean the 2 new people that are reading this blog for the very first time).  Ready?  Wait for it.  Here it comes: yours truly has a foul mouth.  I know!  SHOCKER!!  I’ve been dropping the f bomb for over 25 years now.  My sister and I went to this awesome liberal school in California where we were allowed to swear (the thought being that it would dilute the bad words and teach us to express ourselves in other ways) and call our teachers by their first names.

Their theory worked: when I’m angry with someone, I tend to go off at them, but never ever call them a fucker or a shithead.  Mainly I use the words to spice up my dialogue.  It’s good times, until I’m comfronted with someone who is not as liberal with their cursing.  This always makes me feel a little awkward.  I kind of want to grab them by the shoulders, shake them a little and tell them to loosen the fuck up. 

Recently, another challenge has presented itself: Damien and Lucy(fer) are talking and are picking up the things that I say.  One festive day Damien and I were fooling around on the computer and a page didn’t load and I said “shit”.  And wasn’t it so funny when 2 seconds later he said it again. . .and then proceeded to say it for the rest of the day.  My sister was horrified, I couldn’t help but laugh.  I did, however, realize it was in my best interest to watch what I say-something that I have also taken into consideration during meetings at work.  How strange to see people gawk at you when you describe their plan as “shitty”. 

So, fine people, I have decided to challenge myself.  1 week (starting on Monday, March 31) without swearing.  Not one single word out loud, and nothing goes on the blog.  No dirty words.  Just so we’re clear, let me tell you the words that are off the list: asshole, shit, fuck (or any form of the word), and cunt. 

Goodbye sweet dirty words.  I’m going to miss you. . .I really am, but it’s only for a week and then we’re be reunited!