For the last week or so I’ve been thinking about getting a cat. I’m not much of a cat fan, in fact I typically avoid them, but I kind of want one now. My giant dog would most likely eat the cat the second he saw it, so it’s an exceptionally bad idea. I kind of need one, though. You see, I have the perfect name for a cat: Mr. Nipples.
Mr. Nipples is the best freaking name for a cat ever! Imagine the conversations:
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You: You have any pets?
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Me: I do! I have a dog and a cat.
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You: Oh, and what are your pets’ names?
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Me: My dog’s name is Cujo, and my cat’s name is Mr. Nipples.
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You: Mr. Nipples?
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Me: Yes, Mr. Nipples. Mr. Nipples is quite a character. He gets out of the house all the time so I have to go looking for him in the neighborhood. I call to him, “MR. NIPPLES! MR. NIPPLES!”
It’s perfect!!
