Archive | 1:29 am

My New Pet

29 Mar

For the last week or so I’ve been thinking about getting a cat.  I’m not much of a cat fan, in fact I typically avoid them, but I kind of want one now.  My giant dog would most likely eat the cat the second he saw it, so it’s an exceptionally bad idea.  I kind of need one, though.  You see, I have the perfect name for a cat: Mr. Nipples.

Mr. Nipples is the best freaking name for a cat ever!  Imagine the conversations:

  • You: You have any pets?
  • Me: I do!  I have a dog and a cat.
  • You: Oh, and what are your pets’ names?
  • Me: My dog’s name is Cujo, and my cat’s name is Mr. Nipples.
  • You: Mr. Nipples?
  • Me: Yes, Mr. Nipples.  Mr. Nipples is quite a character.  He gets out of the house all the time so I have to go looking for him in the neighborhood.  I call to him, “MR. NIPPLES!  MR. NIPPLES!”

It’s perfect!!