It’s Time

27 Mar

You know it’s been too long since you got any when any of the following occur:

  • You are attracted to someone that is selling beer and peanuts at a spring training baseball game.
  • You are attracted to someone and think, “Hey, denim shorts on a man are bad, but he doesn’t look so bad.”
  • You consider slipping your number to someone you meet in the hotel lobby of a Marriott Residence Inn.
  • When your friend tries to set you up with someone and you ask him what he looks like, you think it’s okay when she/he says, “Well, I’d give him a 5 on a scale of 1 to 10, but he does own his own house and he loves animals.”
  • You can’t remember where you put your razor because you stopped shaving your legs since no one ever sees them.
  • The phrase “good time” makes you think of staying at home on a Friday night and eating a pint of ice cream in your bed while watching Dexter.
  • The thought of doing the deed with someone that drives a yellow(ish) Mustang doesn’t seem like a bad idea.

It’s time, kids.  Mama’s got needs.

10 Responses to “It’s Time”

  1. Ginormous Boobs March 27, 2008 at 6:21 am #

    Slip a guy in the lobby your room key instead. Hotel sex is way hot.

    Plus you can wreck the room any damn way you please.

    GB, you would have been appalled at the guys in my hotel lobby. There were mullets and there were copper colored jeans. Even I have not reached that stage.

    Hotel sex is hot-in fact, that’s the kind of sex I had the last time. In freaking July of 2007. We’re getting awfully close to the year mark. -CS

  2. Andrew March 27, 2008 at 4:15 pm #

    Some little young ‘un is going to get schooled in ways he is going to have nightmares about !

    They don’t have nightmares!! It’s so traumatic they block it all out. -CS

  3. Angie March 27, 2008 at 6:28 pm #

    and I thought those ideas were only floating around in my head.

    I was totally picking up that vibe from you. It really has nothing to do with me. -CS

  4. Mister Underhill March 27, 2008 at 6:57 pm #

    So sexy time with mister udnerhill is starting to look good? Awesome.

    Are you freaking kidding me? With a peen like this, sexy times with Mr. Underhill ALWAYS seems like a fantastic idea! -CS aka Lil Peen Peeper

  5. pistols at dawn March 27, 2008 at 7:44 pm #

    Embrace your inner cougar – or better yet, get someone in their early 20s to do so for you.

    I’m too young to be a cougar!! I have another 6 years before I earn that title. -CS

  6. Skylers Dad March 27, 2008 at 9:10 pm #

    (waving hand from the back of the class)

    Ohh, Ohh, pick me! Pick me!!

    Maybe I’ll pick names out of a hat! It would be a huge surprise for everyone! -CS

  7. tabbie March 27, 2008 at 9:21 pm #

    Oh NOOOOOoo. Sounds like you need a naughty weekend.

    A naughty 3 day weekend. -CS

  8. Red March 27, 2008 at 11:29 pm #

    A 5 could be perfectly acceptable under those circumstances, but we all know you swim in the shallow end, CS.

    Is it that obvious?? -CS

  9. Infamous JP March 28, 2008 at 1:06 am #

    So what time shall i meet you with that sausage delivery you have been asking for?

    Please make sure you bring extra sausage for the delivery. I’ll expect you at 7:30 tonight. -CS

  10. Grant Miller, Esq. March 29, 2008 at 12:57 am #

    Is it still cool to pick up chicks at a Ramada?

    As long as you’ve got a mullet and a fanny pack you should be just fine. -CS

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