My Throat = Sore

20 Mar

sore-throat.jpg

Why must my throat hurt?  WHY??  It’s a 3 day weekend and I have plans which require not being sick!  God freaking damn it.  I hate having a sore throat.*  Boo!!  Why can’t they invent medicine that actually works-and doesn’t taste like burning or nastiness?  We’re in the 21st century now, you’d think that we would have something potent by now. 

I want to go home, crawl in bed and go to sleep until it’s not sore anymore.  Instead, I will sit here and “work” and then leave to go pick up Un-boyfriend at the airport. 

Poor, stupid Un-boyfriend.  He went off on a dream skiing vacation to Utah on Monday.  On his first run down the mountain on Tuesday, he ignored a sign that said “Caution: Cliffs Ahead.”  Then he blew out his knee.  He had to cut his trip short and needs help with all of his crap since he’s now injured.  Too bad he spent tons of money on new skis, and a helmet (which should say “I ride the short bus” on the side of it). 

Tomorrow I’ll be taking him to his doctor’s appointment-which will suck as I’m sure I’ll still be feeling like crap.  Where’s his girlfriend when he needs her? (And yes, she totally looks like that.)

MY THROAT HURTS!!

*No, Claude and Lola, I do not want a shot of vitamin BJ to make it feel better.

12 Responses to “My Throat = Sore”

  1. cinnkitty March 20, 2008 at 6:04 pm #

    Awwww… poor CS…. If it’s not Simone ruining your fun, it’s a sore throat. I told you sweetie.. numb your throat with a Popsicle before you attempt multiple deep throating sessions.. sigh.. when will you ever listen to me?

    😉

    You know how I am. I don’t like to listen to anyone. I’m what the kids today call “stubborn”. -CS

  2. gnugs March 20, 2008 at 6:56 pm #

    HA! oh, and on top of the expert advice from cinnkitty, I’d go to the DR. Get some Tamiflu. You DON’T want the flu that’s going around right now. Believe me, I was just laid out for a week with it.

    I don’t have time to be laid up for a week because I’m going to Florida next week! -CS

  3. Newmie March 20, 2008 at 9:42 pm #

    My dad may have made me gargle with saltwater but I say trying using that yummy Peeptini instead. Alcohol is the cure for almost everything.

    After gargling, make sure you SWALLOW (he he he). Otherwise it’s alcohol abuse and G-d might just smite you.

    Perhaps the peeptini is just what the doctor ordered. Too bad that I couldn’t find peeps are a small bottle of sour mix this afternoon. What the hell is that all about?? -CS

  4. pistols at dawn March 20, 2008 at 9:47 pm #

    I would feel sorry for you, except you have vacation. And probably can even get paid for sick days. Suck it up, camper. Plus, talking less should mean typing more, so we win either way.

    It’s not vacation. It’s an all expense paid trip for work, thank you very much. -CS

  5. Ginormous Boobs March 20, 2008 at 9:52 pm #

    In college, we went to a safe sex seminar. The pamphlet was written in the crudest language you ever saw.

    But I did take away one important piece of advice.

    “Don’t deep throat a sore throat.”

    Why didn’t we have this seminar at work? That’s jacked up. -CS

  6. Amadeo March 20, 2008 at 10:19 pm #

    I treat everything with booze and sleep…and applied sick days.

    This is a very good idea. I should have thought of that. -CS

  7. Mike March 20, 2008 at 10:51 pm #

    Sad to hear you got a visit from Simone and the Sore Throat Fairy in the same week. Feel better.

    It’s all Simone’s fault. All of the horrible things in the world are because of Simone. She’s what came out of Pandora’s box. -CS

  8. teri March 21, 2008 at 12:17 am #

    there’s stuff out there that you can take to take away the sore throat and to help you not get sick.

    It’s at this place called a Pharmacy. Go to it!

    Feel better.

    Phar? Pharmacy, you say? I have never heard of such a place. What it this magical place of which you speak? -CS

  9. Suze March 21, 2008 at 12:40 am #

    You’re a very nice non-girlfriend.

    Yes, I am. Now, if only I could get laid (by someone else) out of the deal. Too bad he doesn’t have any hot friends. . .Except for one. But I could never do him as they would totally compare notes and that would make me want to die.

    Then again, it has been 8 looooooooooooooooooong months since the last time I knocked boots with anyone. Ugh, how freaking depressing. Maybe I’ll just go drown myself in the bathtub. But only if the tub is filled with delicious ice cream. -CS

  10. Grant Miller, Esq. March 21, 2008 at 12:52 am #

    I think a peepitini should do the trick.

    Too bad there aren’t any peeps in the house. -CS

  11. thenextfish March 21, 2008 at 1:19 am #

    My throat is killing me too AND I have that so-not-sexy-when-you’re-doing-an-hour-long-presentation raspy voice. I’m too busy feeling sorry for me to feel sorry for you, sorry.

    You are so selfish!! What about me and my sore throat?? -CS

  12. tabbie March 21, 2008 at 4:08 am #

    I hear if you gargle good vodka and swallow in huge quantities, it will make you feel better- about anything.

    Booze always makes it better. It always does. -CS

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