Archive | 6:20 pm

Countdown to V-Day

12 Feb

One of my favorite holidays is upon us.  This Thursday couples everywhere will celebrate being together, while those of us that are single will weep into our bottomless glasses of Jack Daniels.  For the past several years I had hoped to share Valentine’s Day with that very special someone, sadly, he is still hiding from me so I’m destined to spend it alone.  Usually I have excellent plans to fall back on, but this year for some reason, I’ve got squat.  If I were a single guy I know exactly what I’d need for a perfect night: 6 pack of beer, porn and ESPN.  We single girls are more complex than that. 

In an effort to ensure that I don’t cry myself to sleep after consuming an entire quart of Turkey Hill Oreo ice cream and a bottle of champagne, I’m gonna plan something fun.  Now, which of these 3 will I go for:

Option #1: Perhaps I will choose to make Ryan Reynolds my Valentine.  We can get to know one another over a bucket of buttered popcorn or way too much Coca Cola.  He is dreamy and I would like to mount him like the stallion that he is.

Option #2: I suck it up and order myself some flowers and write something fabulous on the card like, “Hey there Top Single!  You rock my world!”  Then when they arrive at work, I’ll pretend I have no idea who sent the flowers to me and everyone will think I have a dreamy secret admirer.  Then I’ll go home, order some pizza, and watch Bridget Jones’ Diary (for the bagillionth time).

Option #3: I take a half day from work.  Spend the afternoon at the American Visionary Art Museum.  On the way home I can pick up some (notice I said “some” and not “one”) cupcakes from Baltimore Cupcake Company and some take out from Stone Mill Bakery.  Then I can go home and watch some action flick where people get blown up and no one makes out.

Option #4: I mope around all day and roll my eyes when other people get flowers at work.  After work, I immediately put on my pajamas and crawl into bed getting out only for the Turkey Hill ice cream and to refill my glass of champagne.  Pop in Terms of Endearment and weep the whole night long while checking my cellphone ever 15 minutes in hopes that I get an invite for a last minute date.

Decisions, decisions. . .