Archive | February, 2008

NEWSFLASH!

29 Feb

I have just been informed that Notebook has a girlfriend AND that she is going to be there tonight.

BOO!!  I think I’m going to just bail.  My day is ruined. 

The Science of Hooking Up

29 Feb

Let’s talk about probabilities.  Some of us have alluded to the factors that come into play when determining your chances of having a hook up.  For those of you that don’t think that there are other factors that impact your chances, wake up and smell the Starbucks peppermint mocha.  What rock have you been living under?  Come on now!!

It’s time to get edu-macated, bitches.  Here we go. . .

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How About Some Whine with Your Cheese?

28 Feb

Sometimes even I am suprised by my own lameness and sappiness.  There’s a point where I just embrace my pathetic inner self and laugh it off.

In the previous post I alluded to a certain somone coming into town.  That very special someone is Notebook (oh how I heart him).  (For you new readers you can go here to find out more about him)  Being the sucker for rejection that I clearly am, I’m getting ready to pine away for him after he rejects me tomorrow.  Sad, I know.

In preparation for the eventual nothingness that will come out of our seeing eachother, I’m listening to my very own playlist (created especially for just such an occassion).  Pathetic, I know.  At this point I have listened to You Don’t Know Me (they lyrics are below) at least 20 times today. 

You give your hand to me
And then you say, “Hello.”
And I can hardly speak,
My heart is beating so.
And anyone can tell
You think you know me well.
Well, you don’t know me.
(no you don’t know me)
No you don’t know the one
Who dreams of you at night;
And longs to kiss your lips
And longs to hold you tight
Oh I’m just a friend.
That’s all I’ve ever been.
Cause you don’t know me.
(no you don’t know me)
For I never knew the art of making love,
Though my heart aches with love for you.
Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by.
A chance that you might love me too.
(love me too)
You give your hand to me,
And then you say, “Goodbye.”
I watched you walk away,
Beside the lucky guy
Oh, you’ll never ever know
The one who loved you so.
Well, you don’t know me
(For I never knew the art of making love, )
(Though my heart aches with love for you. )
Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by.
A chance that you might love me too.
(love me too)
Oh, you give your hand to me,
And then you say, “Goodbye.”
I watched you walk away,
Beside the lucky guy
Oh, you’ll never ever know
The one who loved you so.
Well, you don’t know me
(you don’t love me, you don’t know me)

No, I know, it’s really pathetic.  Thankfully, I’ll have some booze in which to drown myself.  If you want the rest of my sappy little playlist, feel free to keep on reading. . .

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Any Guesses?

28 Feb

notebook1.jpg

A Very Special Shout Out

28 Feb

. . .to my poor sister that’s trapped at home with her kids, Lucy(fer) and Damien.  Not only did they wake up at an ungodly hour (because they can both be ungodly), but they also insisted on not taking decent naps and throwing tantrums.

How do I know she needs the shout out?  Easy!  Here’s the conversation:

My Sister: [Frazzled] Hello?  [Loud crash in the background] Hang on a second!  I said no!
Me: What the hell is going on over there?
My Sister: Satan’s minions are running around like crazy.  Seriously, they are possessed!
Me: You know what you need?
My Sister: A bottle of Jack Daniels and to drown them in the bathtub?
Me: Nope.  An old priest and a young priest.
My Sister: Let me try something. [Turns away from the phone to yell at the kids] The power of Christ compels you!  The power of Christ compels you!
Damien: [In the background] The power of what?
My Sister: Yeah, that didn’t work.  He’s truly Satan.  You can tell because he’s questioning the power of Christ.
Me: Listen, good luck to you.  I’m going back to work.
My Sister: No!  Don’t leave me alone with them.  They’ll take my soul!
Me: Gotta go! 

Shh. . .Don’t Tell

27 Feb

I’ll let you all in on a little secret if you promise not to tell anyone.

I would totally let him stick the tip in. 

Protected: Survival of the Fittest

27 Feb

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