A Slow Recovery

16 Jan

Somehow, I managed to survive through the night and have dragged myself into the office today.  Still not sure what possessed me to do so.  I had a riveting afternoon/evening at home.  It involved some Airbourne, Sudafed, a grapefruit, 4 hours of America’s Next Top Model, Celebrity Rehab, and Rock of Love.  Oh, and there was also a nap in there. 

When it came time to turn out the lights and go to bed, things didn’t go so well.  My nose was running like a faucet so I had to do what all of us do when this happens: I had to twist the end of a kleenex and shove it up my nose.  Then I attempted to sleep that way, didn’t happen.  Somehow I got decided it was time to come up with some ideas for Bad Lieutenant’s Wife.  That entails combing 2 or more movie titles into one.  Here’s what I came up with:

  • Gone, Baby, Gone with the Wind
  • Copland Before Time
  • Mystic River Runs Through It
  • I Am Legends of the Fall
  • The Elephant Man of La Mancha

Seriously, I did this for hours on end.  Between combining movie titles, cramming tissue up my nose, and getting up every hour on the hour to pee, I did not sleep very well.  Yet here I am today.  That shows dedication. . .or a complete disregard for those around me that will now be infected by the plague that I carry and have to put up with my bitchy attitude.  God I hate being sick. 

On a side note, I am now addicted to Rock of Love.  Thanks VH1 for some quality programming.  Let me ask you all an important question: why does Bret Michael’s like such trashy women?  3 of the chicks he asked to stay all look like they’ve had way too much plastic surgery.  It’s so bad in fact that the look like living blow up dolls-and not in a good way.  Why would a man want to hit that?  (Gents, I need you to weigh in here, por favor).

9 Responses to “A Slow Recovery”

  1. Andrew January 16, 2008 at 2:50 pm #

    Is this a rhetorical question ?

    Its Bret Michaels. Of Poison. Of course he’s obsessed with plastic.

    How does his hair weave look these days ?

    The hair weave looks far better than the plastic surgery he’s had. He kind of resembles some of the girls on the show. -CS

  2. Mike January 16, 2008 at 3:30 pm #

    Well lack of sleep and medicine probably helped make the decision to come to work today.

    I would say ratings and he’s a superficial guy so why would he want a deep girl to see past that. He needs someone less than himself.

  3. Guv'ner January 16, 2008 at 3:38 pm #

    Poor you! Nothing worse than a schnoz that won’t stop running. URGH!

    I watched the last season of ROCK OF LOVE although I hated myself every minute for caring. I have never seen such an impressive array of skanks in one place at one time in my life!!! And I’ve seen spring break! Plus skanks competing over a middle aged dwarf in eyeliner to boot. Insane.

  4. danielle January 16, 2008 at 4:42 pm #

    Hope you feel better, soon!

    As for Rock of Love, if those were the women selected for the show, can you imagine the casting call and all the rejects! That must have been an impressive array. Also, I think Brett Michaels obviously desires a woman who wears more eyeliner than him.

  5. houstonsocialbutterfly January 16, 2008 at 6:13 pm #

    Um considering Brett Michaels looks like a woman w/ plastic surgery too…I think he’s just narcissistic!

  6. pistols at dawn January 16, 2008 at 6:49 pm #

    Women who undergo extensive plastic surgery are typically vain, shallow, and filled with shame over their appearance. Hence, they will let you do a lot of things to them very quickly.

    This is the man who wrote a song about nailing fat chicks (“Unskinny Bop”), after all. He’s not exactly the most discerning person.

  7. teri January 17, 2008 at 12:11 am #

    my ass would have stayed home in bed. Fuck work!

  8. Write Procrastinator January 17, 2008 at 3:46 am #

    “Still not sure what possessed me to do so.”

    Art the tech dude has a love voodoo doll. Instead of using pins, he walks it through a minature model of your work place.

    Thanks for B.L.W. plug.

    “It’s so bad in fact that the look like living blow up dolls-and not in a good way. Why would a man want to hit that?”

    It was never an issue for me when I was single, I was too scared of silicone poisoning and I’ve never been a fan of that now too wide-spread phenomena, “Janet Jackson nose.”

  9. tabbie January 22, 2008 at 9:45 pm #

    HE has had more plastic surgery than any of them!!! He wants someone who ‘understands’ him, maybe.

    That’s quite possible. He certainly has had some work done. It’s gross. -CS

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