Archive | 3:49 pm

Handy Wipe, Anyone?

16 Jan

I just coughed a big wad of flegm into my left hand.

I hate being sick. 

Disgusting.

A Slow Recovery

16 Jan

Somehow, I managed to survive through the night and have dragged myself into the office today.  Still not sure what possessed me to do so.  I had a riveting afternoon/evening at home.  It involved some Airbourne, Sudafed, a grapefruit, 4 hours of America’s Next Top Model, Celebrity Rehab, and Rock of Love.  Oh, and there was also a nap in there. 

When it came time to turn out the lights and go to bed, things didn’t go so well.  My nose was running like a faucet so I had to do what all of us do when this happens: I had to twist the end of a kleenex and shove it up my nose.  Then I attempted to sleep that way, didn’t happen.  Somehow I got decided it was time to come up with some ideas for Bad Lieutenant’s Wife.  That entails combing 2 or more movie titles into one.  Here’s what I came up with:

  • Gone, Baby, Gone with the Wind
  • Copland Before Time
  • Mystic River Runs Through It
  • I Am Legends of the Fall
  • The Elephant Man of La Mancha

Seriously, I did this for hours on end.  Between combining movie titles, cramming tissue up my nose, and getting up every hour on the hour to pee, I did not sleep very well.  Yet here I am today.  That shows dedication. . .or a complete disregard for those around me that will now be infected by the plague that I carry and have to put up with my bitchy attitude.  God I hate being sick. 

On a side note, I am now addicted to Rock of Love.  Thanks VH1 for some quality programming.  Let me ask you all an important question: why does Bret Michael’s like such trashy women?  3 of the chicks he asked to stay all look like they’ve had way too much plastic surgery.  It’s so bad in fact that the look like living blow up dolls-and not in a good way.  Why would a man want to hit that?  (Gents, I need you to weigh in here, por favor).