Sweeney Todd: The Boring Barber of Fleet Street

31 Dec

Why, Johnny Depp and Tim Burton, why?  Mam’s just not feeling it. 

Typically, I’m all over a musical.  I like to get all swept up in the story, sing the tunes and then buy the CD so I can sing them some more.  This was just a very disappointing experience for me.  I was bored, didn’t care for the music, and found myself drifting off and making grocery lists instead of paying attention to the film. 

The only reason I stayed is because I got some warped pleasure out of the misery that Un-boyfriend was experiencing.  He leaned over every 10 minutes to tell me how much he hated me for making him see the movie.  My favorite was when he leaned over about 15 minutes into the movie and asked, “Is this a musical?”  Der!!  Had he watched any of the 1 million billion movie previews he would have figured it out.

Anyway, I hae suffered for all of you.  Save yourself the outrageous ticket price and buy yourself a cocktail instead.  Trust me, the cocktail is far better than this movie.  If you must see it, either wait until it comes out on video or get someone to pay for your ticket (just don’t promise them any kind of sexual favors for the ticket because the movie stinks and you’re going to be awfully sorry when it comes time for you to give up the Bartles & Jaymes for this nonsense-and no, I didn’t promise any favors to Un-boyfriend.  Instead, I paid for the popcorn and sodas.  $21 freaking dollars for a small popcorn, 2 sodas, and some freaking stale nachos.  Rip off.  Rip.  Off.). 

Promise me you won’t do it.  Promise me!

7 Responses to “Sweeney Todd: The Boring Barber of Fleet Street”

  1. pistols at dawn December 31, 2007 at 6:23 pm #

    You took a guy to a musical? I hope you gave him something for his troubles after all, because if not, you violated pretty much every rule in the guy and girl behavior code.

    Here’s what he got from me: the pleasure of my company. He has his own girlfriend to go home to and she can put up with his “needs”. Besides, he said he wanted to see the movie, I didn’t have to twist his arm to go. -CS

  2. suze December 31, 2007 at 7:44 pm #

    Cross my heart I won’t do it!

    I’m holding you to that promise! -CS

  3. Bella January 1, 2008 at 5:30 pm #

    I did it. BEFORE I read this. And actually, I have to say, it was goofy and quirky, and weird, but anytime I get to see Johnny Depp’s face on the big screen, I’m there. Fake red blood oozing on the screen or not.

    Johnny Depp is hot, I would like to have him naked and sweating beneath me. -CS

  4. Tabbie January 1, 2008 at 9:05 pm #

    It looked painful just from the movie posters. I almost gagged from lameness when I saw the previews. I’ll be staying far, far away from this one.

    Trust me, Tabbie, this is for the best. -CS

  5. Charissa January 1, 2008 at 9:29 pm #

    Hmmm…. I’ve seen this onstage and it’s definitely an odd story. The music is quirky and uncomfortable, and the story is insanely dark. It’s never been my favorite – the story, the music, etc. But, honestly, when I heard JD was doing this movie, my first thought was, “Of course, he is!” It’s VERY JD, I think. I will probably see it, and it won’t be my favorite this time either, but I have to say that I think it will be worth it.

    I love that you call him JD. Like you’re BFFs. I’m totally going to start calling him that now. -CS

  6. Amadeo January 2, 2008 at 3:11 pm #

    Movie theaters make me sound like an old man. “The tickets cost how much?, Five dollars for that soda! How long is this, in my day movies were 90 minutes and if it went past that you left and went home!”

    I typically don’t mind shelling out the dough, unless it’s to one particular movie theatre. I grumble every time that I have to shell out all that money for the freaking soda. Typically the cash is accompanied with the following comment, “I could buy four 2 liter bottles with that money.” -CS

  7. Red January 2, 2008 at 3:41 pm #

    I am a HUGE Stephen Sondheim fan (the composer of ST). I once ran into him on the Waterloo bridge in London and I was unable to speak for about half an hour. (People who weren’t there don’t believe this.) However, this is a LONG way from my favorite Sondheim piece. My college advisor used to say that he _appreciated_ Sweeney more than he _liked_ it, which always struck me as an appropriate reaction. I well may wait for Netflix. Thanks for the tip, CS. Glad you at least had some fun with the schadenfreude of Un-Boyfriend’s misery.

    Did you go up to him and sing any of his songs to him? -CS

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