Damn it!

12 Dec

God freaking damn it!!  God damn it!!  Why oh why must Simone come along and ruin everything??  Why??  It’s incredible how she just manifests herself so freaking fast.  This morning I had nothing, and now a small volcano is going to erupt on my face.  I’m too old for this nonsense. 

Of course, I know why she’s here.  She always comes to town when something important is going on.  This Saturday I’m in a wedding.  She wanted to make sure to be included in all the god damned picture.  She always has to be in the damned spotlight.

Plus-and this is the one that makes me exceptionally enraged-there was this wicked hot guy in my training class today.  I’m talking wicked hot.  Like fire.  He had on this sweater that was clinging just right to all his muscles.  All I could think was how much I’d pay to be the sweater.  Of course it was difficult to flirt with freaking Simone taking over my face.  Thanks for ruining everything. . .again.

I hate you Simone.  I freaking hate you!

17 Responses to “Damn it!”

  1. Guv'ner December 12, 2007 at 9:23 pm #

    I just love that in your world even your uh…unexpected facial visitors…have names. :):) And what a BITCHASAURUS! BE GONE SIMONE.

    Down with Simone!!

    I believe I have to give credit to my sister for coming up with the idea of naming our uninvited facial visitors. -CS

  2. cinnkitty December 12, 2007 at 9:48 pm #

    Eek-a-freak-a-witch-a-wart-a-soress…..

    Is that what you are saying about Simone?? Does she have a twin brother by the name of Simon Le Bon? 😉

    Zap her!!!

    oo..oo…have you ever seen the episode of “Dave the Barbarian” where they have the Princess Candy and her zit that comes alive and kidnaps her and she falls in love with it and they have a dance and song routine a’la Beauty and the Beast …until he’s zapped with Zit-b-Gone cream……

    Noo?? Huh.. must just be me. ha..ha.ha…

    Oh my god!! I’m freaking dying! That has to be one of the funniest things I have ever heard before. The messed up thing is that I can totally picture the whole entire thing. Hilarious! -CS

  3. rebecca December 12, 2007 at 11:36 pm #

    Doesn’t it suck to still have to deal with zits? We don’t have the ass we did when we were 15, so why still with the acne?

    It’s unacceptable!! Why must we suffer like this? Why?? -CS

  4. Leonesse December 13, 2007 at 12:26 am #

    I am with Rebecca. Seriously.

    Sagging boobs should take away all zits forever.

    It would be so super if there was a way that our bodies would just stop staging such coups against us. -CS

  5. Charissa December 13, 2007 at 12:59 am #

    I know someone getting married this weekend. Weird if it is who I know… Baltimore can be such a small city.

    Hmm. . .might this person be getting married in Florida? -CS

  6. thegoodpinkknight December 13, 2007 at 1:07 am #

    Any reason Shut the Hell up Simone wouldnt work? Or when someone who doesnt take a hint starts to talk my favorite thing is to just stare at them blankly saying nothing and not respond in any way until they start to get mad then I just get up and walk away without saying anything.

    Yeah, it totally doesn’t work. She doesn’t listen as she’s a pimple. A massive pimple. A horrible awful unsightly pimple that scares children and the elderly. -CS

  7. Write Procrastinator December 13, 2007 at 2:05 am #

    Is “Simone,” goddess of embarassing acne?

    The positive of acne is that your skin still has the oil, thus will keep you younger.

    Always looking on the bright side. . . -CS

  8. Maybelline Jones December 13, 2007 at 12:46 pm #

    Perhaps if you quit calling her by her name she’ll feel less welcome. Plus, it’s kind of freaky. I just call my zits bastards and sons of bitches.

    Maybe I’ll just start calling her Hortence or Bertha or something. Too bad they don’t have the same ring as Simone. -CS

  9. foxyluv December 13, 2007 at 1:25 pm #

    You are going to be stunning at the wedding – with or without Simone.

    I am telling you, when Celine turns up to cramp my style I send her packing with a little Neutrogena Rapid Clear. It rocks!

    I need that. Right away. STAT! -CS

  10. cinnkitty December 13, 2007 at 3:13 pm #

    AUGH!!! OHFG!!!! I love, love, LOVE the little “gravator” that Foxyluv has put up.. bwa.. ha..haha….

    “Drawn Together” one of the sickest and yet hilarious shows out there! 😉

    Oh…. and yeah… you should totally go to You Tube and search for “Candy and her Zit”.. I’m guessing there is someone out there that posted it!

    I’d send you a link, but ummmm… I blocked You Tube at work (yeah.. i’m the IT person and *i* blocked it) to keep my boss from playing on it all day instead of working.. ha..ha…ha…

    “Drawn Together” rocks the house!! It’s so full of dirty things and naughty jokes, how could it not be beloved by all that love it!!

    I’ll have to check out You Tube next time I’m in front of a computer and not at work. Those Corporate IT people are just like you and have blocked my access. I blame you for this. -CS

  11. me in md December 13, 2007 at 3:38 pm #

    OMG…on family guy the son has a zit that comes alive and its his alter ego – tells him to do bad stuff (i hope im not the only one who saw that episode!) Dont let Simone do that!!!!!

    Christ! What if she takes over and starts blogging nasty things about people!! Oh, wait, I do that already. . . -CS

  12. *Red December 13, 2007 at 3:53 pm #

    Go get Earth Essentials Mint Tingle Purifying Masque. It is this crazy blue color but you can leave it on overnight and it really, really works. Gone by morning! You’ll find it at like Whole Foods or health food stores. I think it’s like $8.

    I’m going to go out and buy everything I can think of. Hopefully, they won’t have some kind of reaction against one another. -CS

  13. Pistols at Dawn December 13, 2007 at 6:49 pm #

    A zit? Man, sometimes fine ass women come up to me and are all, “You can do whatever to want to me, Pistols,” and I’m like, “shoot you out of a catapult? AWESOME!” But then I see that they have a blemish on their face and then I am completely and totally disgusted by the thought of them.

    I knew it! Thank goodness that you had the courage to admit it and tell us how it really is. -CS

  14. cinnkitty December 13, 2007 at 7:36 pm #

    **Don’t worry “me in md” I saw that episode too… I was a little disturbed that Chris’s zit had a very “ethnic” voice considering how “white bread” that family is… but when he said “now..slap on that bacon grease and conjure me up some Homies” I almost fell out of my chair laughing!!!

    Hey, CS, don’t blame ME for the YouTube block… blame the people who can’t get enough work done to keep us IT people from HAVING to block it. hasn’t anyone heard of multi-tasking?? yeesh? ha..ha..ha…

    It’s just not fair. Next thing you know, they’ll block all the online shopping-which is just as well since that’s what I’ve been doing for the last 3 hours. -CS

  15. Leonesse December 13, 2007 at 10:58 pm #

    Chris’ zit was named Doug.

    Maybe Doug and Simone can get together and breed. -CS

  16. Lola Magnolia December 20, 2007 at 11:37 am #

    I call my blemishes “Ghandi”. Because I tend to get one right in the middle of my forehead. But your Simone sounds special. 😉

    Does yours rally for peace? -CS

  17. Alison December 27, 2007 at 4:17 am #

    right now…at the age of 30….i have one of my special “simones” on my side chin..that is so deep that chewing can hurt. mind you, I’M 30!!! I no longer should be getting these!!! What makes it even special is that I’m as big as a beached whale, thanks to all of the food i’ve had to eat (yes, i said “had”). i’m pisssssssyyy and my family is just thrilled to have me around….

    You need the new Clean and Clear blemish stick. That is now my best friend. I carry it with me wherever I go. -CS

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