An Open Letter to the Jack Hole in my Training Class

6 Nov

Dear Richard Face,

As the intro may suggest, I hate you.  Look, I know you think you know it all, but clearly, you do not.  Last time I checked, you were asked to attend this session because you didn’t know how to train, not because you knew all about it.  Look here, Dick (I hope you don’t mind if I call you dick), you need to stop staring off the distance and start paying attention.  You do not know everything there is to know about training.  This is clear based on your attitude and your inability to answer the questions that you are asked.

No worries, I’m sure you’ll just bitch your way through the class while I silently curse you and imagine pushing you off of a cliff.  For the last 3 hours, I have dreamed of slapping that bored grimace off your face.  I knew there was a reason I never liked you.

Yours “truly”, Catherinette

P.S. Oh, and here’s a fashion tip for you: clip on suspenders are not attractive.  Then again, neither are cheap seersucker suits in the winter time.

11 Responses to “An Open Letter to the Jack Hole in my Training Class”

  1. 5of9er November 6, 2007 at 9:44 pm #

    Seersucker in the winter… he is an asshole. 🙂

    He’s a fucking douche bag. -CS

  2. abroad November 6, 2007 at 10:29 pm #

    When I’m training people like that (bored ignorers) I take great pleasure in singling them out and ending all of my questions by saying their name. “Why would you do that…. Dick?” I might even be like “hey you! suspender guy! are you with me?”

    Being a Trainer is fun.

    Oh yeah, great fun. The best part will be after I send an email to his supervisor about what a dick he is. Take that, douche! -CS

  3. Amadeo November 6, 2007 at 10:36 pm #

    I had a seinfeld flashback, “From these reports it seems you don’t know anything about training.”

    Seersucker in the winter is a bad look.

    Let’s not forget the clip on suspenders. -CS

  4. Grant Miller, Esq. November 6, 2007 at 10:54 pm #

    Are you sure about clip on suspenders? Cuz that’s like all I wear.

    Just clip on suspenders? No pants? I gotta see that! -CS

  5. The Idea Of Progress November 6, 2007 at 11:12 pm #

    I think I need to rethink my ensemble.

    Consider it. It’s getting colder outside and seersucker is not what you should be wearing. How about a nice wool suit? -CS

  6. tabbie November 6, 2007 at 11:40 pm #

    Ugh. I have to train several members of a training team on a tool tomorrow. I KNOW there’s gonna be one of these in the class. I just know it. EF!!!

    Roll your eyes at him when he acts up. That’s a super nice passive agressive thing to do. -CS

  7. Pistols at Dawn November 7, 2007 at 12:10 am #

    I don’t even know what a seersucker suit is. It sounds bad, though.

    What’s worse: not owning a suit, or only owning a seersucker suit?

    It’s a nice light weight suit that one wears in the summer time. This guy’s, however, is a cheapity cheap version.

    It depends on what the seersucker suit looks like. Is it nice or is it cheap? -CS

  8. Suzel November 7, 2007 at 2:55 am #

    People with the name Dick just annoy me in general. Throw in suspenders and then they piss me off.

    His name isn’t really Dick, but it should be. -CS

  9. Red November 7, 2007 at 2:11 pm #

    Pistols – Not owning a suit at all is worse. If you only own a seersucker suit, at least you can be taken out in public between Memorial Day and Labor Day. And I always say guys you only date during the summer don’t count*.

    *not true if you’re already in a relationship when summer begins.

    Here’s an important question for all those ladies and gents that date boys: has anyone ever dated someone that owns a seersucker suit?

    I haven’t. I would, but haven’t. It takes a special something to pull it off and I don’t think I’ve ever met that guy. -CS

  10. Red November 7, 2007 at 4:54 pm #

    I haven’t. In this case when you say “a special something”, that special something often manifests itself as a desire to sleep with men.

    I would agree with that statement. -CS

  11. Guv'ner November 7, 2007 at 7:58 pm #

    Gosh, I think I found a new boyfriend! Clip ons you say? (Are those anything like “strap ons”?)

    Guv, he is all yours. Enjoy! -CS

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