Archive | 9:21 pm

An Open Letter to the Jack Hole in my Training Class

6 Nov

Dear Richard Face,

As the intro may suggest, I hate you.  Look, I know you think you know it all, but clearly, you do not.  Last time I checked, you were asked to attend this session because you didn’t know how to train, not because you knew all about it.  Look here, Dick (I hope you don’t mind if I call you dick), you need to stop staring off the distance and start paying attention.  You do not know everything there is to know about training.  This is clear based on your attitude and your inability to answer the questions that you are asked.

No worries, I’m sure you’ll just bitch your way through the class while I silently curse you and imagine pushing you off of a cliff.  For the last 3 hours, I have dreamed of slapping that bored grimace off your face.  I knew there was a reason I never liked you.

Yours “truly”, Catherinette

P.S. Oh, and here’s a fashion tip for you: clip on suspenders are not attractive.  Then again, neither are cheap seersucker suits in the winter time.

Virtual Punch to the Gut

6 Nov

So my hot new secret boyfriend, the one that’s so secret that he doesn’t even know about it?  Yeah, he has no idea who I am.  After emailing yesterday afternoon, and into this morning he sends me this:

Not even sure if we’ve ever met…. the “@[my company’s name]” leads me to believe you work with this gir1 that works there….I am her boyfriend’s Bad Influence Friend…She can attest to that….

Ouch!!  Clearly, I had a really huge impact on him. 

No, wait, he does remember (based on his response).  And suddenly it’s been 20 minutes since I sent him an email and still no response.  OK, guess that sums that one up. 

Time to move on to the next one. . .