Evidence that I’m a Bitch: Exhibit D

5 Nov

“He’s not a fat guy, he’s not fat, you would never say he’s fat, but he is shapes.  He’s like an amoeba he’s always a different consistency.  He’s like a lava lamp type of individual.” -Dane Cook

There’s a guy that works in my building that is shapes.  In the last year, he has easily doubled in size.  Granted, he doesn’t seem to care too much as he eats his double breakfasts.  That’s right, double breakfasts: 2 breakfasts every single day. 

I have given him the code name Ginger Shapes.  Ginger, because he’s red headed and freckled, and Shapes because he has to be who Dane Cook was talking about in the quote above.

Poor bastard looks like a red headed weeble, it’s sad. 

7 Responses to “Evidence that I’m a Bitch: Exhibit D”

  1. Pistols at Dawn November 5, 2007 at 10:00 pm #

    Hey, sometimes the first breakfast is lonely and need company.

    My breakfasts are okay on their own. I find that my dinners sometimes like company. -CS

  2. Grant Miller, Esq. November 5, 2007 at 10:05 pm #

    I loved weeblewobbles as a young boy.

    Did you love them or did you love them? -CS

  3. Del-v November 5, 2007 at 11:01 pm #

    Two breakfasts? I’m going to give that a try, I think that guy is on to something. One breakfast leaves me hungry by lunchtime. Maybe 2 breakfasts will do the trick.

    If you take to the 2 breakfasts, maybe the 2 of you can start your own weeble wobble support group. I’ll have to start calling you V Shapes. -CS

  4. abroad November 6, 2007 at 4:51 am #

    You should be able to eat as many breakfasts as you please. The trick is to only be seen eating one so that people won’t think you’re a damn pig.

    He has no shame. Perhaps he’s really eating 3 or 4 breakfasts and we only see him eating 2!! -CS

  5. Jenna November 6, 2007 at 2:48 pm #

    Well hey, at least he won’t fall down.

    This is a most excellent point. -CS

  6. Amadeo November 6, 2007 at 6:58 pm #


    What? -CS

  7. tabbie November 6, 2007 at 11:42 pm #

    Does he eat the 2 breakfasts at once or does he eat one before he leaves for work and then one when he gets there?

    He eats them at the same time. I have no idea what he does before coming to work as I only see him in the office. The thought of him walking around his dirty (or at least I imagine it to be) house in tidy whities makes me want to hurl. Thanks for putting that visual in my head. -CS

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