Wax It!

16 Oct

Debbie Downer just sauntered over to me to ask me about a very important work related matter: Brazilian waxing.  Okay, so it isn’t work related, but it’s a pretty important topic.  She remembered a conversation that we had several years ago, where I mentioned that I had once tried a Brazilian.  She wanted to hear more details.

You see, Debbie Downer seems to have an over abundance of hair near her no-no.  Not in the front, but in the back.  She’s rather sparse and blond up front, but [or should I say “butt”] not in the back. Why did she feel that she needed to share it?  WHY??  That’s just far too much information for me to handle. 

Apparently, she recently discovered that it’s an exceptionally bad idea to Nair that rather sensitive area.  She found that it was so traumatic, that she had to call a nurse.  That’s bad.  If you read the freaking bottle, it even mentions that it shouldn’t go near your no-no.  She also wanted me to know that she’s not quite comfortable taking a razor to the area.  Thanks for the visual Debbie D.

So it seems that Debbie Downer will have her first encounter with the waxing services at a nearby salon.  She’s very nervous about displaying her naughty bits to the beautician.  I had to assure her that it wasn’t as bad as going to the gyno and that she wouldn’t be on full display of the general public.  She’s still somewhat unsure about going, but I think the Nair was the last, painful straw.

I’m sure you’re all dying to know how it turns out.  I’ll keep you posted.

13 Responses to “Wax It!”

  1. Foxy Luv October 16, 2007 at 5:44 pm #

    Ewwww – I can’t believe she came over to tell you about that.
    Like right there – at work? I can see asking about the Brazilian – but offering up details about her no-no zone….it’s just not EVEN right.

    It was so horrible. You would have died if you had been at your desk. This is the kind of nonsense that goes on when you’re away. I hope you’re happy. -CS

  2. Foxy Luv October 16, 2007 at 6:00 pm #

    I am not happy – I am horrified. Gross.

    As well you should be! -CS

  3. Guv'ner October 16, 2007 at 6:44 pm #

    My no-no shriveled up and died reading that.

    I’ve often wondered what it’s like to do that job. I mean spending your whole day ripping hair off of people’s undercarriages can’t be great satisfaction, surely. And I mean, can you ever eat a Taco again?

    I can’t imagine having that as my job. How do you get to a place in your life when you’re ripping hair off other people’s no-no’s. It might be the same road that one takes to become a crack ho. Lord only knows. -CS

  4. teri October 16, 2007 at 6:56 pm #

    um, why would co-workers even bring up this topic? I would try my best to NEVER have this conversation, even between me and God. ewwwwwwwwww

    Admit that you wish you worked here! -CS

  5. abroad October 16, 2007 at 7:34 pm #

    She’s obviously an idiot to not properly follow instructional use of toxic chemical products close to girl parts. No Nair Near No-No.

    Also that’s way too personal to share with a co-worker.

    PS – You could change your sexual karma by changing the name of your girl parts to Yes-Yes.

    Certain parts of mine are off limits, they are therefore called no-no’s. The rest of them are lovingly referred to as, “party favors”. -CS

  6. Mike October 16, 2007 at 7:48 pm #

    Well you should be happy she didn’t bring you 8.5 x 11 color glossies and then ask you to take a look. Or even worse if you would help her out.

    My eyes would have started bleeding on the spot! -CS

  7. Laura October 16, 2007 at 9:38 pm #

    Dear god, talk about TMI…does she want you to offer to go with her?

    Lord only knows. If she asks me to go with her, I’m going to tell her to stuff it in her stupid acorn. I’m not going. -CS

  8. Pistols at Dawn October 16, 2007 at 9:41 pm #

    I also can’t ever imagine bringing this up to a co-worker. “Hey, Steve, did you see the Steelers game? Heck of a team. Oh, by the way, are my balls average sized?”

    And here I was thinking that was typical in the men’s locker room. -CS

  9. IAI October 16, 2007 at 10:40 pm #

    Why do people do that? Seriously? Why do people think it’s OK to regale you with stories of their netherregions? I don’t get it.

    The only thing worse are those creatures in the locker rooms who have no shame whatsoever – you know, the people who need a little shame? I’m having college swimming flashbacks to the Asian exchange students with small woodland creatures growing from their bellybuttons to their thighs. And who woulda thunk Asian chickies would be so furry?

    Ugh. There should be a law where furry people can’t show their goods. -CS

  10. cinnkitty October 17, 2007 at 12:55 am #

    Ha…ha..ha…. Wow… that’s almost.. *almost* as good as my Lavender Comet meets my Hoo-Hah story.. It could have been better though. Calling the nurse isn’t nearly as funny as actually going to the Emergency Room. ooooo… I’m guessing Ambulance Driver would have written a GREAT blog about that. ha…ha.ha… 🙂

    Sooo… I’ve got this odd thing going on “down there…” Oh wait.. you don’t want to hear about that?? Awwww..shucks! ha..ha.ha..!

    Girlfriend, you should know better than to get Comet near your party favors!! -CS

  11. Laaw-yuhr October 17, 2007 at 1:03 am #

    Jesus, she needs to learn about boundaries. Does she not have any female friends?

    I am tired of people and their poor social skills.

    Not at work she doesn’t. She, supposedly, does have some friends as she’s bored me with stories about them. I’m thinking she was hoping that I’d tell her that I had the same problem. Thankfully, I do not. -CS

  12. bettyboobhug October 17, 2007 at 5:58 am #

    hahaha, I loved this post. Her no-no.

    It just is a total no-go zone if you ask me. What’s a few whiskers and short and curlies between lovers?
    And I thought the brazilian was out?!! I thought shagpile was IN?

    Lucky I’m not having sex. I cannot keep up with the pube trends.

    I can’t keep up with the trends either. I’m guessing that it would have to be a really awful scene to have your potential lover freak out and not go anywhere near there. -CS

  13. Tabbie October 17, 2007 at 11:39 pm #

    I don’t get it. My co-workers and I share waxing/shaving/nairing stories about our downstairs areas frequently. In addition, we go into the best remedies and preventive measures for ingrowns specific to each hair removal method.
    It’s not taboo here at all. I wonder if it a cultural difference. Hmmm…
    Also, going to the waxing table for my brazilians is much more in depth than going to the gyno.
    My girl does this like it’s a freaking art form- getting the right angle, walking around to survey from different positions, having me lift up and tug in the right places to get into the groove…
    I’m closer to her than I am to my manicurist for sure.

    I’d share the stories with people I’m friends with, however, Debbie Downer does not qualify as one of my friends. It’s just not right! -CS

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