Archive | 8:45 pm

Evidence that I’m a Bitch: Exhibit A

2 Oct

There’s a young man that works in my company that is fine.  He dresses well, is hot, and has the personality of a mound of dirt.  For someone as attractive as this J. Crewish young lad, you’d think he’d have some social skills.  Not Wet Noodle.  Talking to him is physically painful.  While at first I was delighted to be in meetings with him-just because he was so pretty-I learned to dread the meetings like one does going to the DMV.  It’s painful and a waste of time.

Several years ago, Wet Noodle married a woman who was 9 years his senior and not that much of a looker.  When my friend, KK, first saw his wife, she just about fell over and died.  I use one word to describe Mrs. Wet Noodle: Cankles.  Seriously, she is not an attractive woman, and has ballooned in size since they first got together.

This afternoon, Disney called me over to his desk to show me something.  He had found a very old picture of Cankles.  I looked at it, then at him, and the following escaped my lips, “Jesus Christ.  I think she ate herself.”