Not So Happy Hour

28 Sep

A hundred years ago, when I was young and the company social planner, I could snap my fingers and get people to go out after work.  Now, my powers are weak and it takes threats of violence to get the same trick done.  It is rare that I actually want to go out after work for a drink, today happens to be one of those days.  My hair looks relatively decent, I’m in the freaking mood. 

After twisting a few arms, I’ve convinced Disney and Lush to come out with me for a drink.  This, however, is not enough. I want to get all boozy suzy tonight and make some bad decisions that I’ll regret tomorrow when I wake up with the cocktail flu. I want to go downtown!  I hate the bar scene, but again, I’m in the mood.  I feel that there’s a hotty out there that’s aching for my attention this evening, and that he’ll suffer if I don’t show up. 

Let’s get it together people!!  Don’t make this secret hotty feel bad on a night that we could be flirting and potentially making out in a dark corner of some bar.  Do it for me.

12 Responses to “Not So Happy Hour”

  1. Guv'ner September 28, 2007 at 9:11 pm #

    Have you tried 1-800-HOTT? Just as a back-up in case that mystery perfect snogging gentleman isn’t on hand.

    In my experience there is ALWAYS a man out there who will service your needs. It’s just that a lot of them smell like urine and sleep on the subway.

    Believe it or not, I’m not a huge fan of men that smell like pee and sleep on subways. I haven’t hit that level of desperation. Not just yet. -CS

  2. Pistols at Dawn September 28, 2007 at 10:18 pm #

    Here’s the thing, women: we will almost always make out with you unless we’re gay, and unless you’re in “that” bar, odds are overwhelmingly in your favor. If our girlfriends aren’t around, or that hot, then there are almost no times we won’t make out.

    If you’re ugly or will shame us in front of our friends, we’ll just have to find a darker corner. But we’re just not picky at all. I have dated soooooo many women just because they were around and I figured, ‘Hey, I like sex.’

    I mean, because they were magical and I just KNEW, ladies.

    I’m happy to report that I have never been dragged away to a dark corner. Woo hoo! That makes me feel much better about myself. -CS

  3. tabbie September 28, 2007 at 11:51 pm #

    I have the name and number of a cute cute hottie who lives in downtown… I’ve confirmed that he doesn’t snore and he can hold his liquor. Sharing is caring, after all!

    I’ve got my cellphone out and am ready to dial it. . . Um, how did you confirm that he doesn’t snore? -CS

  4. Jen September 29, 2007 at 1:18 am #

    I’m in!

    We waited and waited for you and never saw you! How dare you stand us up?? -CS

  5. betty boob September 29, 2007 at 11:03 pm #

    Now when I return in a few days I expect to hear a full report of your drunken hussy night and how the sex was with the handsome Italian stockbroker you picked up at a trendy bar.

    I am living through you on this Catherinette! Please make it GOOD! 🙂

    Guess what, Betty BH?? I met someone!! I’ll write all about it later. -CS

  6. scarymonster September 30, 2007 at 2:06 am #

    The days when Monster used to go prowling fer Treacle Tarts be long gone. Now me finds meself in the role of the “saftey net man”

    He be the guy who gals bring along to incite jealosy in other women with incessant flirting and when me leaves to pick up the next round all the sharks boys think it’s time to make their move.

    Stomp Carefully out there!

    I find nothing wrong with a safet net man-just as long as he’s hot and I want to climb him like a mountain.

  7. Princess extraordinaire September 30, 2007 at 2:44 pm #

    With a request like that who could turn you down??

    Right?? Thankfully, I did have some takers, and ended out until about 2:00 in the morning. -CS

  8. brandy September 30, 2007 at 9:22 pm #

    Boozy Suzy might just be my new favourite term. Hope you found a way to drink it all in and make some bad choices!

    It’s all about bad decisions. -CS

  9. tabbie October 1, 2007 at 6:27 pm #

    ummm… by watching him sleep next to me.

    Why have I not heard this story?? -CS

  10. MisstressM October 1, 2007 at 11:04 pm #

    I love happy hours. Only when I look cute and I have my come hither shoes on.

    Come hither shoes are the best. I love them, but hate wearing them to bars for fear that someone will spill something on them. I much prefer wearing them to work. -CS

  11. cinnkitty October 2, 2007 at 2:38 am #

    Damn… they have to be “non-snorers” CS?? Hmmm…that narrows the field down quite a bit. I mean… I’ve got some guys that I think would be a nice “light lunch” for you (heh..heh..) but they definitely snore. How do *I* know that?? Cause I’ve been upstairs trying to sleep while they were downstairs cutting lumber so loudly I thought the house was going to get sucked up their nostrils. 😉

    Know what’s fun? I don’t care whether/not they snore. I don’t like slumber parties unless I’m in a relationship. If we hook-up at their place, I just get dressed and go home. If it’s at my house, I give them my other patented line. “Know what’s funny? I’ll be asleep by the time you get home.” Then I tell them to lock the door on their way out. Thank you and g’night! -CS

  12. Tabbie October 2, 2007 at 11:46 pm #

    I’m terribly sorry that I can’t post my most sordid stories on my blog. See because I’ve compromised my identity with a certain hottie blogger and I don’t want to rub all of my exploits in his face. Oops.

    Just send me an email and tell me all about it! I need to live vicariously through others. -CS

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