Catherinette: The Psuedo-Shrink

25 Sep

One of the 4 things* I hate about living alone, is that there’s no one to make me feel better when I get scared.  This doesn’t happen very frequently, but every once in awhile I wish there was someone there to comfort me.  Like earlier this year when we went through some wind storms and I was afraid that the trees were going to fall on my house and kill me, or when I wake up at 3:00 in the morning and am positive that the devil is going to get me, or last week when Cops 2.0 took place, or the last couple of nights when I’m 100% certain that Mr. Winner is going to break into my house to kill me.

I have decided to diagnose myself with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  As the daughter of a psychiatrist, I’m allowed to do this.  Sure, it’s only been a few days since last week’s ordeal, but still, things should be better by now.  I’ve had to sleep with the outside lights on since Friday, and any little noise outside leads me to believe that Mr. Winner is trying to break into my house to get me.  Every little noice freaks me out.  I got out of bed 4 times last night to peep out of the windows to see if he was trying to break in.  Plus, there were all of these strange noises this morning.  I’m sure that it was a fox or a deer, but it totally freaked me out.

Paranoid much?  No!  This is just a symptom of the PTSD from which I’m clearly suffering!  Thankfully, I have therapy on Thursday.  I’m sure we’ll get it all sorted out in 1 session, plus it’s a perfect excuse to avoid my least favorite topic: intimacy.


*The 4 Things I Hate About Living Alone:

  1. Mowing the lawn.

  2. Shoveling snow in the winter.

  3. Paying the bills all by myself.

  4. Being scared and having no one to comfort me.



11 Responses to “Catherinette: The Psuedo-Shrink”

  1. Princess of the Universe September 25, 2007 at 2:28 pm #

    You might actaully be right. You probably do have a mild case of PTSD. (Not sure who’s more qualified here- daughter of a psychiatrist, or me with an undergrad degree in Psych – probably you.)
    I’ll being it up in my therapy session next week and get back to you. 🙂

    Maybe we can do a group therapy session. Don’t forget to let me know what yours thinks!! -CS

  2. teri September 25, 2007 at 3:53 pm #

    you never told us what happened last weekend?

    I have some of those issues as well. I guess we all need some therapy.

    It was awful, and my neighbor is a total idiot!! -CS

  3. Guv'ner September 25, 2007 at 4:28 pm #

    Did they catch that Winner guy or what? He’s probably back i pound-you-in-the-ass-prison as we speak. Hopefully anyway!

    To my knowledge, he’s still out there. Maybe he’s moved on to some other poor woman with no self esteem. -CS

  4. cinnkitty September 25, 2007 at 4:40 pm #

    Hmmm…. okay, I *gots* this one:

    #1: Apartment living =’s no lawn. Down side? scary upstairs neighbors who answer their doors nekkid and are having loud sex with their crack whore mom (and possibly half-dead crack dog too)

    Honey, I have her living next door. She’s so loud that I can hear her all the freaking time!

    #2: Welcome to the SOUTH!!! No snow…not gonna happen, nope..never, uh-uh…. no White Christmas here. Downside — it’s fucking hot! Oh, and the humidity sits around 110% (is that even possible) so you must grow gills to adapt and….”Love Bug Season” ewww….’nuff said on that.

    Hmm. . .I don’t know what’s worse. All those stinking bugs and the humidity or mowing the lawn and shoveling snow.

    #3: Online bill pay? Automated bill pay? Automatic deductions? ummm…..if you don’t pay your bills you’ll be homeless, hence negating #’s 1, 2?

    I do all of those things. I just hate having to spend my own money for them.

    #4: A very large, very scary dog? Of course, that’s like having a kid, gotta feed them, walk them, can’t leave them alone or they drool and poop in your shoes… matter of fact… scratch the whole “dog” thing. The shoes MUST be protected!! Ummm….cats will just point the bad guys in your direction and then nibble on you until you are found. No help there.

    Guess what? I have one!! I have a big St. Bernard. He’s an angel-unless your’e a child, then he will try to eat you.

    Oh..I know! Security system! Come on.. you *KNOW* you want the Brinks Security guy to call you in the middle of the night and ask for the “safe word”. And of course, you’ll be half asleep and reply “Huh?? Are we having sex right now?”

    I might just have to suck it up and get one of these. My dog will probably trigger it all the time-then I’ll be all freaked out that it’s going off all the time! God, I’m such a chicken.


    Seriously CS, I feel ya! While I *do* enjoy living alone a LOT and I’m not ready to give that up any time soon, there are times…rare, rare times…..when the comfort of a warm, loving male body is missed.

    Hang in there chickie! Mr. Winner stands no chance if you go after him with a Stilleto heel. 😉

    Mama needs a new pair of heals-for safety purposes. Do you think that would lower the price of my home owner’s insurance? -CS

  5. Maybelline Jones September 25, 2007 at 4:55 pm #

    Coincidentally, when I lived in one of these, I was also awakened in the middle of the night by domestic activity right outside my window. I woke up Husband, then called 911. I thought it was fun to watch them cart away Idiot Drunken Neighbor. Most of those idiots don’t beat on people who don’t love them, so I don’t think you have too much to worry about. Just chill, drink some cocoa and relax to some reality television.

    This makes me feel much better. I don’t love him so he won’t focus on me. -CS

  6. abroad September 25, 2007 at 5:14 pm #

    Hey Kid – you should be proud to live alone and pay your own bills. I’ve met a quite a few young (and way too old) ladies who are either still suckling from the family teat and letting mommy & daddy pay their bills OR somehow worse – got scared and married some wrong for them idiot and although they’ve got somebody to mow, shovel and pay the bills they are still very much alone.

    Anyhoo – It sucks to mow the lawn and shovel snow – so just don’t do it. Pay someone, trust me it’s worth every dime.

    I’m enjoying your blog and hoping you feel better soon!

    God I hate paying bills, but if I don’t do it, then no one else will. Oh, and I’m still accepting charity from my mom. She’s lovely enough to buy my groceries. Hello, I’m irresponsible. As for the lawn mowing and snow shoveling, I’m still hopeful that I’ll have a man by the next time either one of those things has to happen. Let’s keep our fingers crossed. -CS

  7. Step Right Up September 25, 2007 at 5:29 pm #

    If P. doesn’t spend the night with me, I sleep on the floor with my overweight toy sized dog, between my bed and dresser, with the door locked.
    Will you or your father analyze that behavior?

    My dad probably won’t analyze it because he doesn’t know too much about psychiatry-he’s ex military. I, however, think that your behavior is perfectly reasonable and that you have nothing to worry about. -CS

  8. Pistols at Dawn September 25, 2007 at 8:08 pm #

    That’s funny – one of the reasons I love living alone is that no crazy broad wakes me up in the middle of the night because they think they just heard an armed robber breaking into the place, and somehow a sleepy me in boxers is going to be able to do anything to stop them. All that means is five extra seconds for them to run while I get stabbed/shot/broadsworded.

    At least you’d give us a chance to run. No, seriously, I know that 99.9999% that I freak out it’s about nothing. I just want to back up into someone and have them put their arm around me and tell me to stop being such a baby. That’s all. -CS

  9. Pistols at Dawn September 26, 2007 at 12:29 am #

    What if they said, “Stop being such a baby” and then added, “Now that you’ve woken me up and backed that thing up…” suggestively?

    I have no problem with that. Truth be told, that’s 1/2 the reason we back up into you guys in the first place. -CS

  10. Tabbie September 26, 2007 at 7:59 pm #

    Guess what: Southern California doesn’t have snow or lawns and everyone is super regulated by homeowners associations in the suburbs, so you won’t have to deal with unruly neighbors for long.
    Add to that the best and brightest psychiatrists in the nation (we’ve got all the crazies, after all), and you’re a perfect candidate for relocation.

    God I miss California. I don’t think I could afford to go back, though. Not on this salary anyway. -CS

  11. Jen September 26, 2007 at 9:10 pm #

    I’m with you on 3 and 4. Living in an apartment in Manhattan absolves me of 1 and 2, but adds 5 and 6, which are having no one to share household chores with (too expensive of a city to have a cleaning lady), and no one to do the handiwork. Which come to think of it could translate to your 1 and 2. I think we are even!

    Chores really blow, but not as much as lawn mowing. Nothing beats that! -CS

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