She’s under some strange and warped delusion that I’m going to find my soul-mate on Sugar Daddy.com. She forced me into it. She leaned right over my shoulder and stared at me while I created a weak profile, and then searched for a sugar daddy. Here’s the thing: online dating is not for me. She doesn’t want to accept it, and I don’t know why. Then she got all bent out of shape when I told her that I wasn’t interested in any of the guys.
- Mom: How about that one?
- Me: He lives in Manhattan.
- Mom: Oh, and this one?
- Me: He has one chin too many for me.
- Mom: This ones cute.
- Me: Yeah, and older than dad is.
- Mom: How about that one?
- Me: Jesus, mom! Are you freaking serious? That guy is a dog!
- Mom: Looks aren’t everything. It looks like he makes a decent amount of money.
- Me: So you actually would want me to date someone unattractive if he had boat loads of money?
- Mom: That’s not what I’m saying. I’m merely saying that sometimes you become attracted to someone over time.
- Me: Not someone that looks like that.
- Mom: Fine! Then keep doing what you’re doing. That seems to be working wonders for you!
- Me: Thanks for the vote of confidence.
I’m going to go and bury my head in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s now.
