I Have a “Head” for Business

21 Sep

My friend, Claude, and I were emailing the other day, and he informed me of a special agreement that our friend, Mary* Diva, had made with her boyfriend.  Mary Diva is a delightful young Mary whom I find to be extremely entertaining.  She is your stereotypical gay man: she knows every single showtune in the world, loves fashion, worships Victoria Beckham, and has 2 Chihuahuas (plus outfits for each one).  Last month she made an incredibly sweet deal with her boyfriend. In exchange for 1 blow j per night for a month, Mary Diva’s boyfriend would present her with this Juicy Couture rabbit fur trimmed hoody.  I hate Juicy Couture and think all the things are both lame and trampy, but I think Mary Diva is on to something.  You see, this hoody costs $675-that’s equivalent to a little over $21 per bartles & jaymes.  That’s not too bad.

This got me thinking: could I do this for other fashion products?  The answer: yes.  I am now starting my own business called Fellatio for Fashion, and there will be a small subdivision called Hand-jobs for Handbags.  It’s genius!!  In exchange for couture, bj’s and hj’s will be provided. 

I want a Chloe bag, god damn it, and I’m willing to work for it. 

*Claude and I have a mutual friend who is gay.  It was this friend who told us that we must refer to all gay men as “Mary” and use “she” instead of “he”.

10 Responses to “I Have a “Head” for Business”

  1. Catherinette, you’ve just broken my heart. I absolutely adore Juicy Couture!

  2. buttahbean at 11:42 am #

    I think you’re on to something here … how many bjs must I give for a Land Rover???

  3. Catherinette at 12:42 pm #

    Princess of the Universe: I have faith that you’ll grow out of it. Trust me. . .

    buttahbean: I’m thinking it might be a few months to a year. We’ll have to get one of the guys to make the call on that one.

  4. del-v at 1:26 pm #

    I don’t want to discourage you on your new career path, but I wanted to let you know 9 out of 10 new businesses fail within the first year.

    I’ll be out at Ixia or the Owl Bar tonight. Maybe I’ll see you out.

  5. Step Right Up at 3:02 pm #

    Honey, they don’t call it a “job” for nothin’. We SHOULD be compensated for our jobs. If that payment is by way of material items, so be it.

  6. Catherinette at 3:48 pm #

    del-v: I can’t fail! It’s a supply and demand kind of thing. Men want bj’s and I want fancy things. It’s a perfect concept.

    Step Right Up: You said it, sister!

  7. Mary Diva at 7:22 pm #

    Thought you might want an update….the hoodie which btw is now referred to as just “My Fur,” has arrived and is in my possession….I have worked off about half of it so far…my goal for October will be to work for a Gucci dog carrier…Need to see you soon so we can make out, -MD

  8. Catherinette at 7:33 pm #

    Oh sweet Mary Diva, you are truly my hero. Hey, do you think you could get a handbag out of this deal for me? I think you should!

  9. Pistols at Dawn at 8:18 pm #

    I like at least half of this plan. Now, if only I had money and or goods with which to barter, I’d be well on my way to happytown. We’re all whores, and the more people that realize that, the happier we’ll all be dating.

  10. Catherinette at 8:22 pm #

    Pistols at Dawn: There’s nothing wrong with being a whore. It would just be much easier to admit if there were luxury goods to be had by admitting said fact.

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