Debbie Downer’s Dreadful Drama

28 Aug

Debbie Downer is in the process of boring Lit’l Smokey to tears.  She happened to wander into our aisle just now, and Lit’l Smokey said hello to her.  She took this as a sign that he wanted to engaged in conversation.  She was wrong.  I immediately put my headphones on so as not to have to listen, but I know what she’s telling him all about. 

She’s telling him that her cat died last week.  She told me yesterday.  I was sad to hear it, as I do not like it when people lose their pets.  She then proceeded to bore me with the details.  FYI: I’m a heartless bitch.  We all know this.

She is also sharing with him how she has accidentally put an end to her relationship.  You see, her “boyfriend” was out of town with his kids, so she decided to spend the entire day with her ex-boyfriend, the Pilot.  He has a pool, it was hot out, it seemed like a good idea at the time.  She got hammered, staggered around in her swimsuit, and then went home. New boyfriend is not a fan, and when he found out, he basically called her a whore. 

Now, I’m not sure about you, but the second my boyfriend calls me a whore, he becomes an ex-boyfriend.  Debbie Downer, on the other hand, is fighting hard to salvage what remains of her jacked up relationship. 

She’s still talking to him.  She’s been standing at his desk the entire time that I’ve been sitting here.  Maybe I should wander off and call him from another phone, he can pretend he has to take the call.

Nah, it’s kind of funny to watch him squirm.  He looks so cute when he’s bored. . .

4 Responses to “Debbie Downer’s Dreadful Drama”

  1. Grant Miller, Esq. August 28, 2007 at 7:45 pm #

    Nice aliteration in the headline. Don’t let me forget to update your link at Grant Miller Media.

  2. Pistols at Dawn August 28, 2007 at 10:23 pm #

    I called an ex of mine “whore” for seven months before she finally snapped and told me her name was Lenore.

  3. The Idea Of Progress August 29, 2007 at 4:16 am #

    Maybe he meant whore in a good way.

  4. Guv'ner August 29, 2007 at 7:57 pm #

    I usually take being called “whore” a sign of affection or validation.

    But then I do hang with Huggy Bear.

    Your woman might be related to The Most Boring Woman Who Ever Lived at MY job. They have to be related. In-breeding. The gift that keeps on giving.

    I’m sorry about her cat though. I hope it didn’t off itself in a fit of Owen Wilsonesque angst to get some attention between the drama of the Pilot and the Tourrette’s Speaking “ex”.

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