Dear Foxy Luv,
I hear the plans that you are making with my man. FYI: you are forbidden to travel with him to San Francisco or anywhere else. I FORBID IT!! No, you cannot go. You cannot go for the following reasons:
- He is mine.
- He is not yours.
- You are not allowed to go.
- Lit’l Smokey belongs to me.
- You might have a major panic attack on the airplane and end up peeing yourself in front of him.
- And finally, he belongs to me.
Go ahead and plan an imaginary trip with him, but I forbid you to take a really one. FORBIDDEN!
Love, Catherinette
P.S. Your ass looks much hotter in those pants without the panty lines. Kudos to you for going commando.
P.P.S. You still can’t go on a “work trip” with Lit’l Smokey.
Dear Cath –
You really need not worry. The flop sweat I just experienced thinking about flying all the way to San Fran has put me off (seriously, I need a shower!). Besides, even though he has graciously offered to drag my heavily drugged carcas off the plane, I would feel horrible if he ended up with permanent back problems because of it (lets face it, I am a whole lotta lady compared to him). Plus, if there was bad turbulence, I might try to make out with him. Which would be awkward…for him. Then there’s the fact that I act like a 13 year old girl when I am with him one on one for more than a day….it’s bad.
No – I think imaginary trips to Fiji with him are better. No flop sweat, no fear of flying, no back pain. And for some reason, on those trips, I only wiegh like 105 pounds, and he is like 6 foot 5 – so the proportions are much better.
But I am glad you like my tush sans undies – it was very nice of you to say. But please remember – you are not the boss of me and little smokey belongs to all of us! He’s like Yellowstone National park – he’s something for us to cherish and protect for future generations…or something. Anyways – he belongs to all of us! And by us, I mean you and me exclusively!
Some guys like 13 year old girls.
You should run screaming from those guys, stopping only to hurl road flares like ninja stars at them.
I heart ninja stars……
Don’t lie, you heart ninja turtles.