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Protected: A Riveting Conversation Between You & Me

27 Aug

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Protected: 8 Things

27 Aug

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I FORBID IT!

27 Aug

Dear Foxy Luv,

I hear the plans that you are making with my man.  FYI: you are forbidden to travel with him to San Francisco or anywhere else.  I FORBID IT!!  No, you cannot go.  You cannot go for the following reasons:

  1. He is mine.
  2. He is not yours.
  3. You are not allowed to go.
  4. Lit’l Smokey belongs to me.
  5. You might have a major panic attack on the airplane and end up peeing yourself in front of him.
  6. And finally, he belongs to me.

Go ahead and plan an imaginary trip with him, but I forbid you to take a really one.  FORBIDDEN!

 Love, Catherinette

P.S. Your ass looks much hotter in those pants without the panty lines.  Kudos to you for going commando.

P.P.S. You still can’t go on a “work trip” with Lit’l Smokey.

Hello, Technology!

27 Aug

Apparently, Little Bus is new to the 21st century.  She’s off for a few weeks of training in our other offices-she’ll be sorely missed (just not by me or Lit’l Smokey).  For some reason, she called Southwest to get them to help her check in.  Umm.  . .apparently she missed the whole Internet movement where you can just go on-line and print it out herself.

 She was on the phone for 20 minutes trying to get instructions.  All I heard was this:

  • I’m not sure if I’m checked in or not.  It says something about group A.
  • What does group A mean?
  • Can I get group 1 instead?
  • Okay, so now how do I check in now that I have my boarding pass?

I can only imagine the customer service agent on the other line.  The crazy thing is that Little Bus is not a 90 year old woman who has never been around technology.  She is a 30-something year old who likes to mix her own music.  God she is so freaking lame.