Fun with the Family

21 Aug

Yesterday with my niece and nephew was torture.  Some highlights:

  • They both woke up at 5:30.  Neither of them took naps.
  • In the car, my niece screamed like someone was killing her.  I asked my nephew a question and he said, “What?” I repeated the question and he yelled, “I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”
  • They are both Caca-stani terrorists and drop dirty bombs.  I have reason to believe, based on what was in my niece’s diaper, that she is rotting inside.  It was quite easily the most disturbing thing that I have ever witnessed in my whole life.  Oh, and I almost ran out of baby wipes and am pretty sure that I freaking got some on my hand-and there wasn’t a bathroom in site.

Thankfully, I was able to go home last night because my mom was watching them.  This meant, however, that I had to get up at 6:00 this morning so that I had time to drive over to my sister’s house and walk the dog before work.  Did I mention it was pouring rain?

I’m at work for 1/2 a day and then have to go watch the kids again.  I’m scared.  Someone hold me.  I’d kill my sister, but then I’d end up with custody of the children as I’m their guardian. 

5 Responses to “Fun with the Family”

  1. Wide Lawns August 21, 2007 at 3:10 pm #

    Ok, before this goes any further you are going to have to get a gigantic pump dispenser of Purell in case you get any more of your niece’s dirty bomb fall-out on your hands.

  2. pistols at dawn August 21, 2007 at 5:36 pm #

    This is why I always pull out: because I’m a gentleman, and I wouldn’t want to inconvenience a lady’s schedule with kids.

  3. catherinette August 21, 2007 at 5:55 pm #

    Wide Lawns: I need sulphuric acid to deal with her dirty bombs. Purell isn’t going to do shit. No pun intended.

    pistols at dawn: You truly are a gentleman.

  4. CinnKitty August 22, 2007 at 12:59 am #

    You are the legal guardian?? Girl… the least you could do right now is make sure that you take out a HUGE life insurance policy on your sister. God forbid something happens to her, but if it does, at least you’ll have enough money to send the little monkeys to boarding school for the rest of their life. 😀

  5. hanmee August 22, 2007 at 4:52 pm #

    AMEN on the Purell. Some people give me pity looks as if to say “look how uptight mom is – whipping out the antibacterial”.

    I don’t care about general germs. I care about shit!on!my!fingers!

    You never get the smell out.

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