Sometimes, I Hate Technology

My brother-in-law insisted on purchasing a huge home theatre surround sound system, and has a huge TV.  He also decided that he only needed one remote control, to rule them all.  Anytime I go over there, it takes me 15 minutes to figure out how to turn on the receiver, TV, and cable box.  It’s confusing, requires a manual, and a freaking flow chart.  You can imagine my horror when my mother called me this morning to ask me how it worked.

• Mom: I can’t get the stupid TV to turn on.
• CS: Which remote control are you using?
• Mom: What do you mean?
• CS: Out of the 4 that they have, which one are you using?
• Mom: The silver one.
• CS: You need to get the big black one with the big blue button.
• Mom: The one that says Sony on it?
• CS: I don’t know what it says, it’s just big and black with a blue button.
• Mom: Okay, I have it.  Now what?
• CS: Did you turn the cable box on?
• Mom: I don’t know, there’s no picture on the TV.
• CS: Walk me through what you did.
• Mom: I pointed the silver remote control at the TV and turned on something, and they I grabbed one of the other remotes and turned something else on too.
• CS: That doesn’t help me.
• Mom: Why is there no picture on the TV?  It’s just a blue screen.
• CS: I don’t know because I’m not sure what you did. I need you to walk over to the cable box and power it on.
• Mom: Which remote do I use?
• CS: No, you don’t need a remote, you need to walk to the box to turn it on.
• Mom: Oh.  Okay.  Where’s the button?

This lasted for 20 minutes.  It was really good times.

Fun with the Family

Yesterday with my niece and nephew was torture.  Some highlights:

• They both woke up at 5:30.  Neither of them took naps.
• In the car, my niece screamed like someone was killing her.  I asked my nephew a question and he said, “What?” I repeated the question and he yelled, “I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”
• They are both Caca-stani terrorists and drop dirty bombs.  I have reason to believe, based on what was in my niece’s diaper, that she is rotting inside.  It was quite easily the most disturbing thing that I have ever witnessed in my whole life.  Oh, and I almost ran out of baby wipes and am pretty sure that I freaking got some on my hand-and there wasn’t a bathroom in site.

Thankfully, I was able to go home last night because my mom was watching them.  This meant, however, that I had to get up at 6:00 this morning so that I had time to drive over to my sister’s house and walk the dog before work.  Did I mention it was pouring rain?

I’m at work for 1/2 a day and then have to go watch the kids again.  I’m scared.  Someone hold me.  I’d kill my sister, but then I’d end up with custody of the children as I’m their guardian.