Go, Go Speed Dater: Part 5

16 Aug

Now, my friends, we come to the “best” date of all: The Trekkie!! This guy was the epitome of a dork. Seriously, I can’t imagine anyone dorkier than this poor kid. Tall, gangly, glasses, pants a little to short, very uncomfortable in his own skin, and to top it all off completely socially awkward. He kept squirming in his seat, adjusting his white socks, checking on his pleather (plastic/leather) backpack, and pushing his glasses back up his nose. I don’t know about you, but this is just not what I’m drawn to. There’s not a thing about him that made me think, “Me-ow! I have got to get me some of that.”
Oh the riveting and engaging conversation we had:
CS: Hi, nice to meet you, I’m Catherinette. [I extended my hand to shake his.]
Trekkie: [Sets down his backpack, and gives me a limp noodle handshake] Hello.
CS: So, Trekkie, what do you do?
Trekkie: Umm. . .I. . .[glances around, adjusts glasses]. . .I work in computers.
CS: [Stifling a groan] Oh, that’s nice.
Trekkie: Yeah. . .[checks on backpack]
CS: So. . .where are you from?
Trekkie: Indiana.
CS: I hear it’s nice there.
Trekkie: Yeah. . .you know. . .[shifts in his seat]. . .yeah, it’s nice.
CS: [Wanting to now bang my head against the brick wall] How often do you get to go back home and visit.
Trekkie: [Shifting in seat again and looking around] You know, sometimes. I visit sometimes. My family is there. So I go. To visit. I visit sometimes. My family.
CS: Right.
[Dead silence]
CS: Do you fly or drive out there? [Seriously, it was like pulling teeth and I couldn’t think of anything else aside from wishing the 4 minutes were up.]
Trekkie: I like to fly. Usually [adjusting glasses, then pulling up sock before checking on backpack] I drive. Gas is expensive.
CS: Yeah, tell me about it. Must be a long drive.
Trekkie: [Nods]
CS: So, Trekkie, you enjoy traveling?
Trekkie: Uh. . .traveling? Yeah. I . . . like it.
CS: Where do you like to go? [Why isn’t time up yet???]
Trekkie: To different places. You know. . .to cities. . .and stuff. [Shifts in seat again and checks on his backpack.]
CS: What’s your favorite place to go? [I’m now trying not to laugh.]
Trekkie: Oh. . .my favorite? [Shifts in seat.] Well. . .I guess. . .I don’t know. But I want to travel out of the country. I’ve never left the country before. [Shocker]
Right around here was when they announced that we were through with the event. He was my last date of the evening. After they announced that it was all over with, I was completely surprised when he said to me, “We can keep talking.” I almost said, “About what?” but I kept it inside and tried to think of something to say that might make him run for the hills. I’m not sure whether I sat there for any longer than 5 minutes, but it seemed like an eternity. Thankfully, Lola got my attention and I used her as an excuse to get up and walk away from him.
My parting words to him? “Live long, and prosper.”

17 Responses to “Go, Go Speed Dater: Part 5”

  1. The Diva's Thoughts August 16, 2007 at 7:22 pm #

    Damn that sounds painful.

  2. krystyn August 16, 2007 at 7:44 pm #

    I agree with the diva – that DOES sound painful.

  3. pistols at dawn August 16, 2007 at 7:58 pm #

    Wow. That sounds like the worst thing ever. I don’t know that I could show up at a speed dating event now, for fear of being blogged about.

    Okay, mostly because I would have stabbed myself after four minutes of conversation like that. I hope there were a few interesting menfolk somewhere there (maybe next door?).

  4. The [Cherry] Ride August 16, 2007 at 9:02 pm #

    Great parting words!

    Cut him a break though – maybe he left his personality in the backpack, which would explain why the hell he kept checking it.

  5. monicker August 17, 2007 at 12:15 am #

    God, I knew he’d be a winner. What a way to end the night!

  6. Mike August 17, 2007 at 2:22 am #

    LOL. At least you probably made his life and he got to go home and jerk off about you.

    I can’t remember did you pay to be tortured or were women free?

  7. The Idea Of Progress August 17, 2007 at 4:07 am #

    You know what was in the backpack? Gwynth Paltrow’s head.

  8. Scary Monster August 17, 2007 at 6:51 am #

    Me just read through the speed dating posts and me still be wiping the tears away from all the giggling. Me definitly wants to try this fer meself. Get meself all duded up in totally mismatched out of fasion clothes, an overabundance of Brut and the most inane blather. Of course me would have to have a backpack with a video recorder in it too.

    STOMP.

  9. Del-V August 17, 2007 at 11:40 am #

    That was the last speed date of the night? The Trekkie was just warming up.

  10. Catherinette Singleton August 17, 2007 at 12:53 pm #

    The Diva’s Thoughts: I’m not sure if I’ll ever recover from this.

    krystyn: It truly was.

    pistols at dawn: Come on, you know you want to go to find out what people right about you!! There were actually some nice guys. The one that I want to email me, however, has not. Great, thanks Karma!

    The [Cherry] Ride: Perhaps he should have opened up the pack and let some of his personality out. Frankly, I think it contained his Star Trek Figurines and some Transformers.

    monicker: Thank you, good night!

    Mike: UGH!! GROSS!! Thanks for the visual, Mike!!

    The Idea of Progress: You could be right.

    Scary Monster: Go and do it. Show people how it’s really done.

    Del-V: It was so terrible. He totally sucked!

  11. Mister Underhill August 17, 2007 at 3:13 pm #

    I thought we had so much in common! Then I come here and read this hurtful post 😦

  12. alexgirl August 17, 2007 at 6:13 pm #

    oh. my. god.
    That is the funniest thing ever. poor you!!! you handled it very well though. Great blog, BTW.

  13. Heather August 17, 2007 at 6:18 pm #

    Thank GOODNESS they were only 4 minutes long!!! All of these are hilarious!

  14. The Ambiguous Blob August 17, 2007 at 6:23 pm #

    This is like a conversation with my most recent ex bf. WTF man? I bet he fell in love with you.

  15. catherinette August 17, 2007 at 6:24 pm #

    Mister Underhill: if you had been there, I would have jumped across the table and immediately have started riding you like a pony.

  16. Obesio August 17, 2007 at 7:42 pm #

    Kudos on the whole speed-dating series. Each installment was a delight.

  17. Annie Drogynous August 18, 2007 at 1:09 am #

    And this is a prime example of why I don’t do speed dating! Glad you made it out of it alive!

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