Zit Had To Be You

13 Aug

Lola, Muffy, Michael Kors, and I are embarking on an exciting adventure tomorrow evening: 4 minute dating. We’re off to Washington, D.C. to attempt to meet hot, eligible bachelors. Having never done speed dating before, I’m not sure what to expect. I’m guessing that one of two things will happen:

  1. We will find ourselves in a room full of single women, and 6 single guys-all of which are dorks, or
  2. There will be 4 hot guys, none of which I will be matched with.

I can guarantee the following, however, there will be a most riveting posting on Wednesday. Oh yes, my people, you’ll get the full on scoop.

Of course, I’m so excited about this adventure that I’ve decided to go ahead and break out. Woo hoo, look out DC bachelors: my pimple and I are coming to get you. Simone, as I so lovingly refer to her (she’s a frequent visitor), and I are going to charm all the single mens. They will not be able to look away-kind of like a train wreck. What really irks me is that now I’m going to have to go for super cleavage in order to draw attention from Simone. Here I was going to take it down a notch, guess I can’t now. They won’t know whether to look at my cleavage or at Simone.

Thanks, Simone. No, really, thank you. Seriously, when will this breaking out nonsense end??

17 Responses to “Zit Had To Be You”

  1. Cinnkitty August 13, 2007 at 5:58 pm #

    Girl….I’ve got bad news for ya! Simone and her gaggle of puss filled friends will be with you for life. I’m 36 and still dance the solo dance of me and my “Zit-B-Gone” cream. I have co-workers in their 40’s and 50’s and THEY still do pimple dance as well. I can’t freaking believe it, but it’s true. How cruel is this world when a 55 year old woman still has to suffer from zits? Isn’t menopause enough torture? Yeesh!

  2. pistols at dawn August 13, 2007 at 6:28 pm #

    As a DC eligible bachelor, I will say that 4 minutes is a lot longer than most of us are prepared to be interesting. However, I eagerly look forward to this review of speed dating, which seems like a hilarious concept I just don’t have 4 minutes for.

  3. Mike August 13, 2007 at 6:45 pm #

    Never done speed dating just networking. Actually you’ll only have about 2 minutes on your side. Practice out loud with your friends what you would like to cover. You’ll sound more confident. While breasts are nice, confidence will leave a lasting impression.

  4. monicker August 13, 2007 at 7:00 pm #

    Nothing says confident like a beautiful rack. Go for broke, honey – no one will notice Simone.

    I have a similar visitor, I call it Mom. She can’t take a hint about leaving and often brings her stupid little friends with her.

  5. Del-V August 13, 2007 at 7:05 pm #

    Sounds like a good time.

  6. Catherinette Singleton August 13, 2007 at 9:46 pm #

    Cinnkitty: Thanks so much for that wonderful and uplifting news. No, really.

    Pistols at Dawn: I’ll make sure to take your time constraints into consideration when I write my posting on Wednesday.

    Mike: I’m a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of girl. I’m not going to think about what I’m going to say/ask until I sit down in front of one of the guys.

    Monicker: Aw, yes, mom. I have one of those too.

    Del-v: If you consider sittig in traffic for 2 hours, awkward pauses, and a room full of dorks a good time, then yes, it will be.

  7. Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! August 13, 2007 at 11:56 pm #

    I’ve sooooo wanted to try speed dating. Can’t wait to hear how your adventure goes!

  8. Annie Drogynous August 14, 2007 at 9:56 am #

    Toothpaste. Toothpaste has a drying agent in it that should take your pimple down in no time.

    Or you could do what I did once in college – just disguise it as a mole with some dark eyeliner. Just make sure it’s waterproof or that you don’t sweat!

    Good luck with the speed dating. You’re a lot braver than I am!

  9. Catherinette Singleton August 14, 2007 at 1:52 pm #

    vi vi vi vooom: I’m excited to have something magical to write for you. Perhaps Simone will find the man of her dreams.

    Annie Drogynouse: I took it a step further and did something really skin healthy: I used nail polish remover.

  10. BottleBlonde August 14, 2007 at 3:47 pm #

    Seriously, when will this breaking out nonsense end??

    It won’t end until you’re all dried up and no longer want sex.

    … at least, that’s what my grandmother always told me.

  11. The [Cherry] Ride August 14, 2007 at 3:51 pm #

    Wow – heading to DC to pick up interesting single men seems a lot like heading to New Jersey for some fresh air.

  12. Step Right Up August 14, 2007 at 4:08 pm #

    On tv or in movies they always show that speed dating stuff done in a dimly lit room across small tables. Here’s to hoping Simone can hide in the dark! And I sure do hope you get a couple of hideous ones (speed daters not pimples) because that will make a great memory for you and great humor for your readers.

  13. Marie August 14, 2007 at 5:13 pm #

    I’ve done the speed dating thing a few times. I am a very social person and love meeting new people so I had a blast! Of course there was always a few “winners” in the group, but other than those guys most were very normal and good looking. Nothing serious came out of it, but I did get some free meals and drinks out of the gig! Have fun!

  14. Mister Underhill August 14, 2007 at 5:43 pm #

    I have always been curious about speed dating. I think I might do kind of well with it because 1) I won’t be as terrified of getting into a conversation and realizing how much I hate her but being unable to politely disengange or 2) 4 minutes is the exact amount of time that I am able to fool someone into thinking I am normal.

  15. Catherinette Singleton August 14, 2007 at 5:48 pm #

    BottleBlonde: Thanks for the reassuring and kind words.

    The [Cherry] Ride: Yes, I’m aware of this, but at least they’re different than the hicks we have here in Baltimore.

    Step Right Up: Perhaps I’ll just cover Simone with my hand. No one will ever know.

    Marie: It sounds like a fun thing to do-in theory. I’m pretty social and sociable so I’m not sweating it too much-aside from Simone.

    Mister Underhill: This would be a good way to get them to go out with you, then you could decide what kind of plastic surgery they need while you’re ignoring what they’re telling you. Sounds like a romantic evening to me! Sign me up!

  16. pistols at dawn August 14, 2007 at 6:36 pm #

    Dundalk would take offense at your “hicks” comment if they could figure out how to use their computers for long enough to find it.

  17. Mister Underhill August 14, 2007 at 10:39 pm #

    Ouch. Well, normally I don’t think of that when on a date.

    I thought of her kind of like a fixer upper house.

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