Pour Your Water Vase into Mine

23 Jul

Today, I’d like to share with you a tasty little nugget that I received several months ago. This was a message that I received from some guy that was cruising my myspace page. Lord only knows where this guy came from, but it’s freaking funny. The only thing that I’ve edited is this guy’s email address, the rest, I present in it’s original glory.

Please to enjoy:

Hi, I saw your profile and I was so excited with the kinda of woman that i saw there…you be sincere with you dear you are looking Gorgeous….well let me tell you little about me and lets see if you would like me and maybe we could connect…Im a good guy, quick witted, and fun to hang out with Yes, I like all those things normal people do, music (live), movies, reading, sports, outdoors even tourist things (Im from Marrero,Louisiana,United States, so everything about the United States intrigues me crab cakes, ice storms, the beltway, how had I lived?). im presently in the region of West Africa for work and i hope to be back home soon. what am looking for here is loyalty, friendship, all quite important to me and hopefully to you If you can see things on a deeper level, well get along well. If you can sip a drink in a bar and attempt to talk on that deeper level, well get along better still! If you also like things lighthearted, spontaneous, a bit sarcastic and a little mischievous, you’ll get me completely Dont doubt I have a warm, caring, supportive side, its just under a layer of good humor.Or, join me in the kitchen and have a glass of wine while I prepare dinner and we’ll share deep stimulating conversation. Further exploring the mental chemistry between us. A relationship that ends up where it’s supposed to is what I seek. If that’s a serious relationship, good friends or great lovers, I am prepared for the next encounter life has to offer me. A friendship that is uninhibited and pure fun is what i’m about. Locations, settings and chemistry that will arouse all your senses and moments shared that cross your mind a week later while at the office. Putting a smile on your face while wondering when it’s possible to feel like that again is the sensation I aim to leave you with. I want a woman that I can trust without question and who can trust me the same. A woman whose loves me for my heart and soul. We would be like two vases of water poured into one larger more beautiful vase, in which we would be one. Holding each other, breathing each other, tasting each other as we watch the sun rise and set in each others arms. Laughing, crying, singing, praying, playing, working together to make life fun and safe for each other. I have not found that yet, but I am eternally hopeful. Maybe I am just a helpless romantic human but hope is what gets us out of bed each morning to face the day. I have no physical or mental baggage and strive everyday to be a better man for myself. Karma, Kindness, Family, Loyalty and Honesty are important realities in my lifestyle. If we are meant to be, even geography couldn’t keep us apart. sorry i need a devoted woman that i could lay my life to i need a woman that cares.So, if youre fun loving, funny, cute, GENUINE and affectionate,possess the qualities that i need in a woman will love to hear from you soon to know if we are perfect match,If we are meant to be, even geography couldn’t keep us apart,No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other’s worth.Though miles may lie between us, we’re never far apart, for friendship doesn’t count the miles, it’s measured by the heart….Please do feel free to mail me or add me to your messenger here is my screen name i_toolandloser@yahoo.com..hope to hear from you soon….do have a great day.

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25 Responses to “Pour Your Water Vase into Mine”

  1. krystyn July 23, 2007 at 7:21 pm #

    I guess he missed out on basic grammar and English classes while going to school in Louisiana.

    I’d place a wager that it’s a hoax or scam of some sort. 🙂

  2. Step Right Up July 23, 2007 at 7:31 pm #

    And that folks, is why I do not have a mySpace profile.

  3. Eric July 23, 2007 at 7:45 pm #

    I’m imagining him writing this, then smiling to himself as he’s finishing thinking, “Yeah, this is a masterpiece, this’ll get her.” Then sending it out to like 50 girls on myspace and wondering why he hasn’t gotten any responses.

  4. Cinnkitty July 23, 2007 at 8:11 pm #

    Can we say “please marry me so I can use you to get a green card and then dump your ass, open up a credit card scamming business and send all the money I steal back to Nigeria to support the Resistance movement?”

    F’ing scary!!!! 🙂

  5. Mister Underhill July 23, 2007 at 8:15 pm #

    These Nigerian scammers just get scarier and scarier.

  6. Catherinette Singleton July 23, 2007 at 9:13 pm #

    Krystn: Perhaps he grew up on the bayou.

    Step Right Up: But you’re missing out on some hysterical scammers.

    Eric: He’s a poor bastard.

    Cinnkitty: I’m sure someone would jump on that!!

    Mr. Underhill: No kidding. Lord only knows what they’ll think of next.

  7. The Idea Of Progress July 24, 2007 at 2:53 am #

    You haven’t told us the important part? Did he win your heart?

  8. phishez_rule July 24, 2007 at 7:59 am #

    That started off being kinda sweet. Tacky and pathetic, but sweet. Then it rapidly progressed to creepy right about here

    A relationship that ends up where it’s supposed to is what I seek… Putting a smile on your face while wondering when it’s possible to feel like that again is the sensation I aim to leave you with

  9. carolyn says July 24, 2007 at 10:31 am #

    whenever my friend harvey sees a cat he makes this funny noise, sort of like ‘yeurgh’ because he’s really allergic. that nois was going off in my head while i read that email!

  10. Beatrix Kiddo July 24, 2007 at 11:48 am #

    Did anyone else get the distinct impression that this guy is an alien trying to convince you he’s really, really, truly, no, REALLY!, a human, too?

    Maybe I am just a helpless romantic human…

    Watch out Catherinette, I think he wants to use you in some sort of weird alien mating ritual. And I don’t want something scary to rip it’s way out of your abdomen.

  11. I'm Not Carrie Bradshaw July 24, 2007 at 3:13 pm #

    Do you think he also likes Pina Coladas and taking walks in the rain?

  12. Catherinette Singleton July 24, 2007 at 3:20 pm #

    the idea of progress: I used him for hot wild sex and then never spoke to him again. Okay, so I didn’t, but I’m sure he pretended that’s what happened.

    phishez_rule: The whole thing creeps me out. The part that nauseated me was this: “Holding each other, breathing each other, tasting each other as we watch the sun rise and set in each others arms.”

    Carolyn Says: I felt the same way and had never heard the sound before.

    Beatrix Kiddo: Perhaps we have to get Mulder and Scully to investigate.

    I’m not Carrie Bradshaw: maybe he likes making love at midnight, in the dunes on the cape.

  13. step right up July 24, 2007 at 3:58 pm #

    Oh how quickly you forget my ‘Sooooo Tempting’ post on June 16.

    I don’t need mySpace to get those types of emails. Those little gems seem to find their way to my email inbox all on their own.

  14. The Diva's Thoughts July 24, 2007 at 7:34 pm #

    This is freakin bananas!

  15. The Ambiguous Blob July 24, 2007 at 10:18 pm #

    Wow. That’s rich.

  16. Bella July 25, 2007 at 5:33 pm #

    Seriously? What a complete moron this guy is. And he thinks you’re going to somehow feel sorry for him and respond? Seriously?

  17. 5 of 9er July 25, 2007 at 8:18 pm #

    OMG. He needs to be nominate for a Poonie!

  18. MisstressM July 26, 2007 at 4:49 pm #

    Hmmmmm….something is wrong in this pictures. Something is seriously wrong, I accept that soon enough you are going to email you asking for a quick visa. DON’T do it girl!

  19. Tilly July 26, 2007 at 5:54 pm #

    I’m still stuck on this, “Im from Marrero,Louisiana,United States, so everything about the United States intrigues me crab cakes, ice storms, the beltway, how had I lived?” Uhhh, what? Crab cakes? Intriguing? I’m so confused.

  20. Annie Drogynous July 26, 2007 at 8:12 pm #

    My ADD kicked in so I couldn’t finish the rest of it. Is there a part in there where he told you about this massive amount of money that he’d share with you as long as you’d open an account for him here in the states?!

  21. Scary Monster July 28, 2007 at 9:40 am #

    Me just couldn’t finish reading the whole letter me were so damned angry.

    Me not sure how this tool and loser got ahold of me love letters. He changed the place names, but it be me who are intrigued by the American ice storms. You can tell by the grammar, speling and overall Monsternous of style that the letter from he to Ye were really from ME!

    TeeHee, STOMP.

  22. Shelton January 29, 2009 at 10:52 pm #

    Wow. I just recently started reading your blog, and have been making my way through the archives. I’ve gotten creepy MySpace messages, but this one is beyond that. Pathetic…and hilarious to share with people!

    I think that has to be the most hilarious message anyone has ever sent me. It still cracks me up. -CS

  23. elisabeth, belgium September 10, 2009 at 3:23 pm #

    well, if you google some of the quotes, it’s taken from others. he DID NOT write this on his own. (duh!) do they think we’re so stupid to fall for that??? I like some of the comments. I only hope that NO ONE falls for this anywhere spread the word!
    e.

  24. cocktailsattiffanys September 16, 2010 at 8:07 pm #

    Now THAT is what I like to call “blogging GOLD.”

    Effin amazing!

    -L

  25. S July 1, 2012 at 12:52 am #

    OMG! Now this “guy” is on match.com in 2012! BEWARE ladies! See below:

    How are you?I am very impressed with your profile and intrigued by your integrity.Your personality of being goofy and fun loving is very attractive to me. You seem quite intelligent and have a mature perspective on life.am a travel guy looking for a long term relationship maybe could lead to marriage if things work out well,one i could spend the rest of my life with.My name is *********I’m 44 years old and i would like to know more about you,I was born in Lewisville Texas but live in Albany NY.would you love to chat through gmail account ?Reply me on my email ******** @ g m a i l . c o m with no spaces am not frequent on this site and thinking of getting rid because i keep having problems on here.
    Hope to hear from you as soon as possible,we’re never far apart, for friendship doesn’t count the miles, it’s measured by the heart and also love knows no boundaries, no distance, no fear. What captures is the God’s love that will eternally melt hearts together to stay, fused and sealed forever as one please reply me via my email id above because i have been abuse with several’s emails on this site so i don’t think i can keep this account any more when i said abuse you should know what that mean’s.i have been getting different kind of emails from women that i don’t feel a connection with but when i don’t response to them,all they do is send nasty emails…
    Hope to hear from you

    ********..

    Thank you for originally posting this!

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