An American Tragedy

16 Jul

Something so horrible happened on Saturday. I’m still reeling from the events which I am about to write down. It was an accident, but one of the most devastating that I have ever witnessed in my life. My family and I were at Wegmans doing our grocery shopping and having some lunch. On our way out, I was carrying my niece, and my sister was responsible for carrying my things. She put my coke bottle into my Michael Kors handbag-without checking to see if the bottle cap had been screwed on all the way. Half the bottle of soda emptied into poor, defenseless Michael Kors before I realized what was happening.

I went to put some things into my bag and realized that the inside of the bag was wet. As I began cursing at my sister-in front of everyone at Wegmans-and cleaning out the bag with napkins, I realized that something horrible was happening: the soda was soaking through the leather. The tears started welling in my eyes as I turned and shouted, “It’s soaking through the fucking leather!” Everyone began grabbing napkins and dabbing at the mess. My heart sank when I looked at the napkins and realized that the beautiful color of the leather was bleeding onto the napkins. It was not a pretty sight to behold. I was so upset that I had to step outside and go for a little walk on my own.

I text messaged Muffy, and she called me right away. The pep talk made me feel much better. She reminded me that “Michael Kors is an American Icon, and is resilient,” and that he’d pull through. I pulled myself together, and went back inside.

Upon my return, we decided to take drastic measures: back to Nordstrom to see if they could help. Sadly, they did less than nothing. My mother-the doctor-had to intervene. When we got back to her house, she took matters into her hands. It was a late night for her as she treated Michael Kors hoping to minimize the scarring. The results were better than I expected, however, the soda marks are still visible. This week, he’ll be going through a 2nd round of treatments in hopes of minimizing the scars.

Please pray for the speedy recovery of my Michael Kors handbag. These are trying times for all of us.

10 Responses to “An American Tragedy”

  1. 5 of 9er July 16, 2007 at 5:17 pm #

    Those are the times you just need to put on your Fire Drill hat. Sadness.

  2. blueblanket July 16, 2007 at 6:37 pm #

    My condolences to you and your bag. Get well soon!

  3. The Ambiguous Blob July 16, 2007 at 6:41 pm #

    Oh god, I’m trying not to cry. This is the most terrible thing. Oh, please don’t give up on MK. He is, after all, an institution unto himself.

  4. Cinnkitty July 16, 2007 at 8:38 pm #

    the horror!! The absolute HORROR!! oh sweetie..I’m so, so, soooo sorry! I guess they don’t make tiny little Michael Kors handbag defibrillators, huh? Good luck on the 2nd round of treatment.. please, let us know how the poor little dear pulls through!

  5. Bella July 16, 2007 at 9:57 pm #

    Talk about a fashion emergency! I hope MK pulls through. Please keep us updated!

  6. phishez_rule July 17, 2007 at 11:36 am #

    I only hope he doesn’t need cosmetic surgery.

  7. Catherinette Singleton July 17, 2007 at 12:56 pm #

    5 of 9er: It just doesn’t feel right to look so stylish with that hat when Michael Kors isn’t around to complete the outfit.

    Blueblanket: Thank you for the condolences.

    The Ambiguous Blob: These times are really hard for us all.

    Cinnkitty: It’s insane to think that the health care system completely disregards the importance of healing a Michael Kors bag!

    Bella: So far, it looks like he’ll make it.

    Phishez_Rule: I think he’ll be fine w/o any major surgery. He’ll just have a little bit of scarring.

  8. hanmee July 17, 2007 at 2:01 pm #

    I am SOO SOO sorry! I hope he makes a speedy recovery!

  9. blueblanket July 18, 2007 at 12:23 pm #

    I think we need an update on the condition of your MK bag. Is it out of the ICU yet?

  10. kittenpower July 19, 2007 at 11:01 pm #

    holy god. that’s horrid.

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