10 Jul

Several years ago, someone talked me into being the fire captain for the first floor of my building. When there’s a fire drill at work, I’m on! My exciting responsibilities include standing by the stairwell while people leave the building. If they have a drink in their hands, I have to confiscate it-this all takes place while I’m trying to stop my ears from bleeding as a result of the deafening fire alarm. Oh, and I have to wear a cheesy ass hat while I’m doing this. So uncool. Then, I have to go outside and yell at everyone to stay inside the parking garage.

Rumor has it we’re having a fire drill any minute. My moment of glory awaits.

UPDATE: So I missed the whole debacle because I was at the gym. I did, however, wanted to share a picture of the beautiful hat that I didn’t have to wear.

14 Responses to “Fire!!”

  1. Foxy Luv July 10, 2007 at 1:36 pm #

    You forgot to mention checking in the men’s room to see if any one is hiding in a stall! That’s the highlight of the job to me!

  2. Catherinette Singleton July 10, 2007 at 1:38 pm #

    I delegate that duty. Guess who gets to help with that? Lit’l Smokey!! That’s right. Today he’s my smokey little bitch.

  3. deadspot July 10, 2007 at 1:47 pm #

    Why do you have to confiscate their drinks? Are you supposed to throw them on the pretend fire?

  4. Cinnkitty July 10, 2007 at 1:50 pm #

    I just want to see a pic of the cheesy little “Fire Captain” hat. 😉

  5. Catherinette Singleton July 10, 2007 at 2:46 pm #

    Oh deadspot, if only the fire team was that clever.

  6. The [Cherry] Ride July 10, 2007 at 2:49 pm #

    I’m with Kitty – photos of you in the Fire hat, please.

  7. Catherinette Singleton July 10, 2007 at 5:14 pm #

    The picture has been posted. Please, enjoy.

  8. Cinnkitty July 10, 2007 at 7:08 pm #

    Awwww man! That’s not NEARLY as dorky/hideous as you lead us on to believe. TEASE!!!! 😛

  9. 5 of 9er July 10, 2007 at 8:04 pm #

    The hat… classic!

  10. Blowing Shit Up With Gas July 10, 2007 at 8:10 pm #

    My advice: Get someone else to be the fire captain. It’s not worth burning up over… If the alarm goes off, get the hell out; don’t stand there inhaling smoke while some idiot decides to take his sweet time.

  11. The Ambiguous Blob July 11, 2007 at 4:36 am #

    uh seriously- why can’t anyone take drinks out during a fire?

  12. Catherinette Singleton July 11, 2007 at 6:41 pm #

    People aren’t allowed to take drinks because if they spill them, then someone else can slip and get hurt-thereby causing a massive lawsuit.

  13. deadspot July 12, 2007 at 2:16 pm #

    What if they had a drink, but it was in a sippy cup?

  14. The Idea Of Progress July 13, 2007 at 3:58 am #

    I’d pay $5 for that hat on eBay.

    Also, no Fire Team member in their snazzy hat is taking away my martini when I’m escaping a burning building. I consider that safety equipment.

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