. . .and Brimstone

First there was fire (drill) and soon there will be hail. They’re calling for hail the size of quarters up around these parts. This bites because it guarantees that my power will be knocked out yet again. That will be the 4th fucking time this year.

Why? Why must my neighborhood have such tall trees that find it amusing to land on powerlines? WHY?? It’s too hot to be dealing with that type of nonsense and I’m still tired from this weekend. Can’t I just go home and take a little nap? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! I have to go home and worry about the upcoming power outage.

Stupid BGE, I hate you.

Fire!!

Several years ago, someone talked me into being the fire captain for the first floor of my building. When there’s a fire drill at work, I’m on! My exciting responsibilities include standing by the stairwell while people leave the building. If they have a drink in their hands, I have to confiscate it-this all takes place while I’m trying to stop my ears from bleeding as a result of the deafening fire alarm. Oh, and I have to wear a cheesy ass hat while I’m doing this. So uncool. Then, I have to go outside and yell at everyone to stay inside the parking garage.

Rumor has it we’re having a fire drill any minute. My moment of glory awaits.

UPDATE: So I missed the whole debacle because I was at the gym. I did, however, wanted to share a picture of the beautiful hat that I didn’t have to wear.