Down with Debbie Downer

8 Jun

This morning Debbie Downer came over to my aisle to ask me a question. “What do you think about this outfit for a date?” I gave her the once over: she was wearing black Capri pants, black sandals, and an ugly ass light-colored denim shirt that not even my mother would wear. “I’d like to see you in a cuter top,” I told her. My friends agreed. “Well, I had on a super cute top that crisscrossed up at the top and blah, blah, blah, but the top looks all lame over top my pants because the waist sticks out.” She then proceeded to give us all a 20 minute monologue on how rough her life is because she’s so skinny, and she wears cheaply made pants that are all fucked up in the waist.

I should have known better than to tell her what I thought.

She’s going on a date tonight to PF Chang’s with some guy. Tomorrow night, she has a date with a different guy. Saturday night man is a pilot and dresses nicely. Friday night guy is probably a truck driver and likes to wear jeans and a t-shirt. Either way, I don’t particularly care.

She just stopped by my “office” (and by “office” I mean “cubicle”) to tell me that now she has a date on Sunday night too. She’s going to the baseball game with Friday night guy. Umm. . .I don’t care. What I do care about is knowing how on god’s green earth she has all these dates this weekend while my Friday night plans consist of going home and cleaning my house.

Bitter? Me! How dare you?!?! How very dare you?!?!

14 Responses to “Down with Debbie Downer”

  1. Mister Underhill June 8, 2007 at 7:08 pm #

    It’s because she’ll sleep with anyone, anywhere, any time.

  2. deadspot June 8, 2007 at 7:20 pm #

    *gasp* You’re a Catherine Tate fan!

  3. Catherinette Singleton June 8, 2007 at 7:22 pm #

    Mister Underhill: she does like to get her skank on.

    Deadspot: I LOVE CATHERINE TATE!! She rocks the house!! I didn’t think anyone would pick up on that-and I wasn’t even bovvered.

  4. Superstar June 8, 2007 at 7:46 pm #

    Sounds like she will bo going on a few 1st dates if she doesn’t dress to fit the occations. PF Changs has a dress code…jeans and a t-shirt will get her a seat in the kitchen…doesn’t matter how nice the guy is.

    She is obviously not a “rules” girl…taking a 2nd date before she even goes on a first. ~shakes head~
    HMMMMM
    Stick to your guns.
    WHOOOO HOOOT!

  5. Mister Underhill June 8, 2007 at 8:15 pm #

    What? PF chang’s, the crap ass pseudo chinese restaurant, has a dress code? I am shocked.

  6. Anonymous June 9, 2007 at 7:07 pm #

    clean clean clean–that is how Cinderella got her start too! perhaps you were meant to be a cleaning slave?I would clean for you if you would but let me. Or make me

  7. Sunshine, Martha and Betty June 10, 2007 at 4:36 am #

    Mah, she’s probably making the whole thing up and her life really is just an empty shell of shopping for cheap-ass pants and denying herself a Big Mac occasionally.

    Cheery up possum! You’ll get there 🙂

    love betty.

  8. The Ambiguous Blob June 10, 2007 at 5:01 am #

    Maybe guys like poorly dressed depressed sluts???

  9. Sunshine McThunderkitty June 10, 2007 at 5:08 am #

    It’s because you’re way too beautiful sweetness…men feel more confident approaching ‘homelier’ girls as their risk of rejection is lowered significantly…and they must assume you already have plans. Not like DD here who obviously has no life when her whole weekend is clear to be saying yes to 2 dates with the same guy in 48 hours. Agreed that this is most definitly against THE RULES.

    And I also agree with Betty…she does seem suspiciously mouthy about her plans…

  10. Catherinette Singleton June 11, 2007 at 12:29 pm #

    Superstar: It was actually her 2nd date with the guy. That’s how she knew about his jeans and t-shirt thing. Still, she doesn’t have much luck with men so I don’t know why she bothered to book a 3rd date with him.

    Mr. Underhill: If they didn’t have a dress code they’d be like the McDonald’s of chinese food.

    Anonymous: You know, I can do a pretty good job with the vacuum cleaner. . .

    Betty: Perhaps you’re right. Maybe she spent the weekend dressing her cats and taking their pictures.

    Ambiguous Blobs: I think you’re on to something.

    Sunshine McThunderkitty: I like your thinking. Yes, I’m single because I’m goregous and intimidating. Yes, that’s the reason.

  11. Superstar June 11, 2007 at 7:35 pm #

    @Mr Underhill…Pei Wei is the “casual” dinning for PF Changs. ROFLMAO!!! Same food 1/2 the cost!

  12. Foxy Luv June 11, 2007 at 11:27 pm #

    The reason she has all these “dates” is that she has no “standards”. Which can be charming in some situations, but not when you are a semi-dried up bitter bitterton.
    So I want to hear no more of this self-questioning, “Why does she have dates and I don’t?”
    You could have “dates” too if you were into dumpster diving. So I say – stick to booty calls and friends with bennefits until some one worthy your way comes!

  13. hanmee June 14, 2007 at 4:09 pm #

    As foxy luv stated, she has no standards. And that’s also why she has to have so many dates. Because once they go out with her, they don’t ever want to repeat the experience, even if it means passing up easy ass.

    Too mean?

  14. Foxy Luv June 14, 2007 at 10:52 pm #

    hanmee –
    Not too mean. Like the porridge (sp?)that Goldilocks chose – it’s just right!

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