Archive | 2:45 pm

I have the world’s worst wedgie right now. I hate…

5 Jun

I have the world’s worst wedgie right now. I hate underwear with a passion and try to avoid it like the plague whenever I can. For the most part, the only time I’ll even consider wearing it is when I’m wearing something white or light in color. While my new dress is black, I was a little concerned that it might be a little see-through in certain light, so I went with the trusty thong. Now I’m in severe pain.

I might die before the end of the day. It has to be cutting off the circulation, I’m having trouble breathing, everything is going black. . .

An Important Public Service Announcement

5 Jun

People with fat arms should resist wearing shirts that have elastic in the sleeves. The elastic will cut off your circulation and make your arms look like giant sausages. People may even come up to you and attempt to coat your arms in ketchup and mustard.

Thank you, and have a pleasant and polite day.