Archive | 6:25 pm

Mmm. . .Hummus

31 May

The Catherinette Singleton Lexicon

31 May

As I was watching the Shear Genius marathon on Bravo last night (damn you, Bravo, for producing such addictive and stupid shows), the bitchy bitch on the show mentioned a fabulous term: FIG JAM. It’s an acronym that stands for Fuck Im Great, Just Ask Me.

Thank you so much to Tabatha for introducing me to this gem.

An Important Public Service Announcement*

31 May

Women with cankles and fat feet should not wear ballet flats with straps. The straps will cut across your fat foot and make the rest of us want to throw up.

*This public service announcement is brought to you by Catherinette Singleton: making the world a better place by mocking those lacking in good manners, good looks, and fashion sense.

MTV’s "Real" World

31 May

Thank you, MTV. Thank you for what you’ve given to this world. How did we survive without the drama, trashy hook ups, and drunken messes that you air on The Real World. And God bless you for reuniting the craziest cast of them all: the original Las Vegas cast.

Who watched it last night??? I was glued to the television! OMG! The drama is so wonderful and fabulous, and they were gracious enough to start it right up.

Arissa, what the hell is wrong with you? The last time I saw eyes that big was at night on one of the back roads around my house. A deer jumped out in front of my car, I honked the horn, and I slammed on the brake. Your eyes look very much like the startled deer. Oh, and we all know that you have some kind of eating disorder, sister. You nearly make Nicole Ritchie look like a bloated fat pig.

So many burning questions left! Mainly, how many times will Frank fall on his face after a drunken night, when are Steven and Trashelle going to hit it, and who’s going to be the first one to slap Arissa right in her mouth?

I love you MTV. I really do.