My Amazing Skills and Talents: Part 3

24 May

My Amazing Skills:
I have the ability to come up with the best nicknames in the world-especially for people that I don’t particularly care for.

Why it’s so Cool:

This particular skill is kick ass because I know how much the general public appreciates it. Yes, you think about feeling bad for the person, but then you start laughing-you just can’t help yourself.

Behold the Power of this Skill:

Example 1
The person: some little new hire I don’t know.
The nickname: Shakira
The reason: Her hips don’t lie. Poor girlfriend’s got such a pretty face and the most unfortunate thighs/hips.

Example 2
The person: A total bitchy bitch that works on the 3rd floor.
The nickname: Nell Carter
The reason: Everytime I see her I imagine her breaking into song and belting out “Gimme a break I sure deserve it It’s time I made it to the top” while dancing around in the yellow mumu I’m so sure that she has hanging up in her closet. God, I just hate her.

9 Responses to “My Amazing Skills and Talents: Part 3”

  1. red May 24, 2007 at 9:01 pm #

    I used to come up with similar epithets for young men I dated but didn’t like. The only two I remember are Rob, the boring gynecologist (who, btw, didn’t understand that his work was NOT appropriate dinner conversation) and Andy, the alcoholic banker. Though I suppose those are appositives more so than nicknames.

  2. The [Cherry] Ride May 24, 2007 at 9:04 pm #

    So when do I get a nickname?

  3. Mister Underhill May 24, 2007 at 9:07 pm #

    Making fun of people is one of the cornerstones of my life.

  4. The Ambiguous Blob May 24, 2007 at 9:20 pm #

    that’s very bitchy of you. I admire it.

  5. The Diva's Thoughts May 25, 2007 at 12:59 pm #

    That is quite talent you have there! lol

  6. Beatrix Kiddo May 25, 2007 at 2:00 pm #

    I’m in love with that Shakira one. But I think you should have called Little Bus Chatty Cathy instead.

  7. monicker May 25, 2007 at 10:15 pm #

    I admire your nicknaming talents – they do provide for an entertaining read in the middle of my boring day.

  8. mel May 28, 2007 at 4:29 am #

    Your hilarious! New favourite blogger, from Boob Hug Betty and the girls.

  9. chick December 28, 2010 at 3:44 pm #

    I love the nicknames you come up with. It is quite a skill and one I claim for myself as well (and the #1 reason why I was drawn to your blog). My co-worker and I have nicknames for everyone at work– we even made an org chart outlining them. love this blog!

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